There is often a stigma that goes that men are visual beings, that they should like what they see first in order to appreciate all the other aspects of the person they are with. Although this may be true in some instances where the man may not be serious in his commitment, but more often there is always more than what meets the eye when it comes to finding out what men really want.
What are we talking about?
It is easy to catch a man’s attention if he finds you attractive. But keeping his love and devotion alive for you is one thing, and some parts of it are also dependent on how you treat him. Here are 5 important things to remember so that we know what men really want in a relationship.
What Men Really Want
If women crave for affection and being cared for, men crave respect. They want to feel that their opinions matter, that they are able to lead, and that they see themselves worthy of what they say or do.
Women, it is important for us to understand that men see value in themselves through who they are. When we step over our boundaries and belittle their ideas and opinions, that’s when trouble happens. The Bible says we are to put others before ourselves in Philippians 2:3:
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”
Showing respect means: not overriding his decisions, agreeing to compromise, not belittling him with words, appreciating his opinions and most of all, allowing him to lead. Here is a good book to help you out on how to apply good dating principles in your relationship:
2. Emotional Support
We have this idea that men are “macho” creatures. They are tough, and they don’t need emotional encouragements. That is false. Men need emotional support as much as women need it. We have to remember that when we are in a committed relationship, our man chose us to be our supporter.
No, this is not to belittle us as mere supporters–in a way our man relies on us for love, care and understanding. I could best compare it to a military unit. Some people are in the combat zone, and some are providing care for the wounded. Not one is less than the other. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says,
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
Encourage him when he experiences failures, when he is ‘almost’ accomplishing his goals, and encourage him just because! There is nothing to lose when you encourage a man. Let’s not be sparse with giving emotional support to each other.
The giddiness and the butterflies at the beginning of any relationship is magical. The romance gives us that fluttery feeling, the sleepless nights and the endless talks until dawn. But when all of those moments pass and you’ve seen the good, bad and the ugly, one thing remains: your friendship with your man.
Men need us to be friends with them. It is not just the passion or the attractiveness we can exude that is important to them. It is also important that we give them real friendship.
Real companionship means being with him in a football game even if it’s not your thing. It also means hanging out with him and his friends from time to time. Trying out his concoctions in the kitchen even if you gag afterwards. Just trying out and being with him through his goals, interests and hobbies. It’s being his friend, fan, and person no matter what. This is one of the things that make us understand what men really want. Here are some ideas you can do for fun to grow your friendship:
4. Taking Care of Yourself
This came as a surprise, did it? Another thing that makes us understand what men really want is by knowing how to take care of ourselves. In the 3 other topics, it was all about what we can give to our man. But how can we give if we don’t take care of the source first, which is ourselves?
Taking care of ourselves means spending effort and time for us to re-focus, release all our anxieties and care for our body, mind and spirit. When we take care of ourselves, we are more ready to give to our man. There is nothing wrong with lifestyle changes such as eating healthier foods, exercising, taking care of our hair and face, buying ourselves clothes and accessories that make us feel beautiful, joining seminars, reading books that improve our knowledge–basically anything that can make us happy and fulfilled. When men see that we give to ourselves too, the more that they trust what we are ready to give. Here are some facial and body kits to start on if you want to renew that commitment to yourself as well:
Don’t be guilty about it, because you need it too. The Bible instructs us at 1 Corinthians 6:19-20:
“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
It is imperative that when we take care of ourselves, we also take care of God’s temple in us, which is our bodies.
5. Spiritual Support
The most important thing that men might not readily and expressively want but need is spiritual support. Men need us to pray for them. Some battles aren’t seen by the eye. Some of them are spiritual, and temptations are thrown here and there in the physical realm actual start spiritually.
We need to intercede for our men. When we pray–we pray for protection. Physical protection from harm, strength from discouragement, and also to remain faithful to us. We are to pray for others:
“I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them.” 1 Timothy 2:1
We should never overlook this. How we lead out spiritual lives govern all other things–how we speak to our men with respect, how we show our companionship, and how we take care of ourselves. It is the guiding principle of how we give.
What Men Really Want? Start On It Today
Starting today, if you want to have a good relationship with your husband, follow the guiding principles above.
We encourage you to read this book titled The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God. It is a Best-selling book by that has helped so many couples go through relationship or marital problems. I encourage you to spend a few minutes a day to read one chapter with your husband or partner and it may help you improve you relationship one day at a time.
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Do you feel like you give these things to your partner or your husband? How can you improve on it? If you have comments or thoughts, please leave them below and we will be happy to answer.