Sometimes we may say words that we don’t mean. Although most of them are forgivable by our partners, it is important to minimize words that could affect your relationship. In this post I will be discussing 5 things to never say to your partner.
Also read:
5 Bible Verses for Marriage Problems
Personal Experience
I can attest to the fact that Charles is a very gentle person to me when it comes to words. There may be instances where his tone of voice may change and I would misinterpret it as being angry. However, we always resolve conflict immediately because we believe that problems shouldn’t stay overnight.
I could say that between the two of us, I need to be careful with my words. Since women are more emotional beings than men, I really would tend to use my words to express my feelings when I am hurt. I admit that at some instances I tend to get overboard. And so, learning from my experiences and asking insight from Charles, we will be talking about the things to never say to your partner.
We should never underestimate the power of words.
5 Things to Never Say to Your Partner
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“It’s all Your Fault!”
Is it, really? Is everything your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend’s fault? This can be a term that is overly used but overly exaggerated as well. Remember, a relationship takes two to work. It’s a partnership, an endeavor that must be worked on together. Whatever the problem is, unless you’re in a abusive relationship, it’s not all your partner’s fault. Your words or actions might have contributed to the problem as well.
What you can say instead:
“I want to know how we can fix this, and I need your help.”
Read this:
“Where does ‘highly happy’ come from—and can we have some too?!”
Have you ever looked at a blissfully married couple and thought, I wish I could know their secret? Now you can. After years of investigative research, Shaunti reveals twelve powerful habits that the happiest marriages have in common. Click here to find in Amazon.
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“You Never (insert positive trait here)!”
Never, or sometimes? Now we can see the pattern of how exaggerations and superlatives can ruin a relationship especially if they’re not entirely true. Saying “never” means that your partner is incapable, and it is something discouraging to hear. Instead of allowing your partner to hear this words that might bring him or her down, come up with something encouraging.
What you can say instead:
“I am feeling concerned about [insert problem here]. What can I do to help you out?”
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“You’re a (insert negative trait here)!”
We all know that as children name calling isn’t the way to make friends. And name calling will also deter your relationship with your partner. When you call someone names, it means that whatever that name is, is what you think of the whole person. If you call him a “lazy, good-for-nothing”, then that’s all he is to you. If you call her a “whiny, attention seeker”, then that is all she is to you. Put value and respect in your relationship by avoiding name calling.
What you can say instead:
“When you [insert negative behavior here], I feel [insert what you feel here]. Can we talk about it more?”
“I don’t care!”
If you’re in a relationship, you obviously care. The fact that you’re fighting about it means that you do care for your partner and the issue at hand. Why say something you don’t really mean? Understand that one of the pillars of a good relationship is a strong communication. If something bothers you, speak up. If it is a cause of concern, show that you care.
What you can say instead:
“I feel like [insert issue here] has been affecting us. Is there something we can do about it?”
“Nothing.”
Don’t say it’s “nothing” when it’s absolutely something. Nothing is dismissive and doesn’t solve the conflict. Women are especially prone to saying this to their partners. It is important for us to realize that this passive-aggressive approach will not build a good bridge between you and your partner. Your husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend is not a mind reader, and essential for them to know what you are truly feeling about things. Admitting the problem is the first step to solving it.
What you can say instead:
“This is how I feel about [issue]. I care about you and I want you to know because I don’t want anything to be between us.”
Charles and Geline’s Top Pick
We hope this post about things to never say to your partner shed some light as to how you can develop thoughtfulness through your words in your relationship or marriage. If you want to know more and develop some ways on how to improve your relationship, we have come up with our top pick for this week:
Have you ever looked at a blissfully married couple and thought, I wish I could know their secret? Now you can. After years of investigative research, Shaunti reveals twelve powerful habits that the happiest marriages have in common. Click here to find in Amazon.
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