“Who should I date?” That is probably a question that you asked yourself as a single, on the lookout for potential partners. Maybe you have been visiting dating sites, or saying “yes” to your friend’s blind date offers. Or maybe you have gone as far as checking out dating apps to see if there’s anyone you would like. You put up a really neat profile, snag some matches, go on a few dates, but end up being disappointed because those flings weren’t really what you were looking for. If you are frustrated about your dating life and would want to improve it, then we encourage you to read further.
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What’s Your Purpose for Dating?
Let me define dating first in the context of this blog post. By dating, I meant getting to know each other in the possibility of starting a relationship.
When I lived in the Philippines, the dating scene was quite different. It was more appropriate to show interest first and then to start courtship. In our culture, we would rather exclusively date someone we really like already, than to date a set of people we aren’t too sure about.
That is how I dated Charles. Although I was able to talk to him online at first, he lay down his intent to date me when he visited the Philippines. We were clear about our reasons to date each other. Everything was set at the beginning. There weren’t mixed signals. I wasn’t reading between the lines, he wasn’t being led on. Our purpose to date was as clear as day.
Which brings me to add another factor about dating success. It is not just about asking yourself “who should I date”. You see, it is very important to know the reason why you want to date. If your purpose is to find a long-term partner, then don’t look for potential partners in the wrong places. Not to discredit dating sites or dating apps, because sometimes, people do find that special someone through those means.
What I am trying to say is that the way you carry yourself in the dating realm should reflect your reasons for dating. Don’t waste your time dating people whom you know aren’t seeking for a long-term relationship. If you are someone who is serious about your dating life, then I have made this list of 5 qualities you should look for someone you want to exclusively date.
The way you carry yourself in the dating realm should reflect your reasons for dating.
Who Should I Date? 5 Qualities to Look For
This is a topic suggested by my friend, Mabel. Hi Mabel, if you’re reading this! She thought that it was important to discuss what are the qualities we should look for in a potential partner.
1. Look for Someone with Direction
Have you ever talked to someone who had no dream, no goal, no opinion about anything? Their common lines would be “It’s up to you”, “I don’t know, you decide”, and so forth. It is difficult to be with someone who is indecisive. When they can’t be sure about the small things, how can they be sure with the big things? If they can’t be sure with at least one thing in their life, how can they be sure about you?
They don’t have to have everything figured out in life. An ideal person would be someone who at least wants to get somewhere, in some specific way. When I met Charles, it was clear to me that he wanted to build his own church. He wanted to minister to people. That really caught my attention because I know that he wants to do something with his life.
2. Look for Someone with Character
If you want to date with a purpose, it would be best to focus on someone’s character first than outer traits. Some women turn other men down because of certain quirks and mannerisms that they don’t like. Some men are turned off because they didn’t find their dates physically attractive. Physical attraction is still important in some way, but don’t make it the end-all be-all of your dating standards. Aside from asking “who should I date?” to yourself, think about these as well:
Is she kind? Does he value family? How is she when upset? Is he a sincere person?
Character is what guides a person’s choices in life. Make sure you date someone whose character you admire. The more you admire someone’s character, the more you will respect his or her opinions, and keep your commitment with that person.
Make sure you date someone whose character you admire. The more you admire someone\’s character, the more you will respect his or her opinions, and keep your commitment with that person.
3. Look for Someone Who Shares the Same Views on Important Things
Before you start exclusively dating anyone, ask yourself first “What is important to me?”
Views on commitment, faith, marriage, and family are things which are important to most people.
If you don’t share the same views about the important things in your life, you can expect to experience challenges along the way. You will feel unsatisfied about the values they don’t share with you. You can also anticipate arguments that stem from these differences.
4. Look for Someone Who is Ready to Date
This quality may be the most obvious one, but most of the time people want to turn a blind eye on what being ready is all about. A person may have all the core values and character that you want, but if he or she is not ready to date you, it is unlikely that you will succeed.
When someone is ready to date you it means that he/she: carves out a special time to see you, talks with you on a regular basis and expresses intent to know you better in a romantic way.
You may try to get their attention all you want, but if they are not ready to date you, then it will be difficult to make things work.
5. Look for Someone Who Has a Growing Relationship with God
This was a non negotiable when I decided that I wanted to date intentionally. I didn’t want relationships that led nowhere. I wanted to date because I wanted to know someone that I can marry. That is why I only chose to exclusively date Charles because I knew that he has a growing relationship with God.
You see, all of the 4 things I mentioned above are important, but this last one is what makes all the other 4 things possible. When someone has a growing relationship with Christ, they will start to have direction, they will develop character, they will put value on things that matter and they will date intentionally.
“Who Should I Date?” Start With Yourself
Often we look for guides that tell us answers on the question we often ask ourselves, “who should I date?”. But we overlook the fact that before we find mr. and mrs. right, we must make sure that we are the ones they’re looking for. In our week’s top pick, Eric and Lesly Ludy share their love story. They also show us how meaningful dating can be when we surrender our lives to God. We recommend this book because it gives us a perspective on how fulfilling a God-centered relationship is and how you can allow God to write your love story. You can click here to find out more, or click the picture.
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