Is it always possible to fight right?
Fighting is inevitable in marriage. So is the same in relationships. The initial feelings of romance and butterflies can make you feel like everything is going right…
Until time happens.
You begin to discover one another’s true colors, as they say.
You start to discover his hygiene habits that you find repulsive.
The way she worries about you can ironically be a source of your worries.
When this happens, what do you do?
Also read: 6 Signs to Know if Your Husband is Cheating
Voices escalate, doors are slammed shut, one of you walks out to another room. The tension arises and your feelings are raw. You want to throw things out on the wall and you want to rip your hair apart.
This is what a nasty fight might look like.
However, is this the way we want to fight in our relationships? When arguments come but there’s no resolve, it may even be more harmful than beneficial. The only way to stop this is learning how to fight right.
In this post, we will discuss 5 ways to help you fight right in your marriage and relationship.
5 Ways to Help You Right In Your Marriage or Relationship
1. Avoid bringing up the past
The past is the pandora box of doom. That’s just a metaphor to explain it. In other words, it can bring so many negative consequences if you try to bring up the past in your relationship.
Actions that were done, actions not done, hurtful words said, or words that should have been said–these should belong where they are. They should be part of the past and nothing else.
Don’t try to strengthen your case in an argument by saying something like…
“Oh yeah, remember that time when…”
It never works and it never will. When arguing, and if you need to explain yourself, only bring up what’s relevant to what you’re going through.
Bringing up the past is like picking a scab on a wound. It gives dirtier and deeper scars.
Watch a free video on how to save your marriage! Click here to understand your marriage more.
2. Stay away from passive aggressiveness
What does being passive aggressive mean?
This means that you are trying to manipulate the situation by acting cold, unreachable, or using sarcastic statements to prove that you’re right.
Passive aggressive can show through actions: walking out, giving hurtful comebacks, or refusing to return the affection.
These are examples of passive aggressive behavior, and it can certainly damage your relationship.
Avoid this like you’re trying to keep away from a stranger’s candy as a kid. It may be tempting to do so, but it will only cause you harm.
3. Think before you reply
You know what’s amazing about humans? They can keep memories for a lifetime. Although most of our memories are placed in the short-term circuits, emotion-laden memories are placed in the long-term memories.
Do you see the connection? Let me explain…
During an argument, your emotions are high. It means that any word you say may be etched forever in your partner’s mind.
This is why we have to be careful of the hurtful words we say.
Of course, there’s always forgiveness and saying hurtful words should always be a part of forgiveness.
However, this doesn’t give us an excuse to be more gracious towards our speech.
So before of trying to hurt the other person the way you’ve been hurt, it may be better to keep silent.
The Bible says…
Don’t break your partner’s spirit by allowing your tongue to go untamed.
4. Always end the day with a resolve
Remember that as a couple, you’re considered a team. You’re not enemies in any given situation. So with every argument that you face, always try to find a resolve. This could mean a lot of things.
It could mean that you agree to disagree.
Sometimes, learning how to set a common ground will also be the best.
As long as you try to end the argument with the day as the deadline, your relationship will remain strong.
Don’t hide any grudges and be open to your feelings without an intention to hurt your partner.
You don’t have to agree on everything. You just have to accept that there are some things that can’t be changed with your partner, but that doesn’t mean that the love isn’t there. End the day with resolve, and you will know how to fight right.
5. Pray after a fight
If you just got through a difficult argument with your partner, make sure to pray for your marriage or relationship.
By praying, you are putting God in the center of your marriage.
Consulting God in times of difficulty will give you wisdom on how to act in situations that you can’t handle otherwise.
Saying a simple prayer together such as…
“Lord, help us to fight right in our marriage. Help us to put You in the center and help us to be a testimony of your love.”
Will ultimately strengthen your partnership.
How to Fight Right: Take the Next Step
Did this post on 5 ways to fight right help you out? If it did, I encourage you to take the next step. Taking these small tips in mind, and finding ways to resolve your arguments is one thing.
Watch a free video on how to save your marriage! Click here to understand your marriage more.
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