Household chores are simple. However, when they are the source of arguments, it can be quite stressful. Washing the dishes, doing the laundry, picking up the kids from school–how you manage these tasks well defines the wellness of your household. In this post, we will be looking at things we can do when household tasks bring stress.

Fighting over household tasks

Aside from financial issues, one of the most common problems that couples face is the division of labor in household tasks. Whether both of you are working, or only one of you, it seems to be a cause of tension when things aren’t done on time. Sometimes, it can even get to the point that these chores aren’t done at all?

What’s a spouse to do in this situation?

Let me tell you a story. My husband and I used to have arguments about household chores. I am an organized person who likes everything in its right place. I got that habit from my mom who cleaned out house at least once a week and hated things looking dirty.

Charles, on the other hand, is more carefree about house chores. He is okay with “organized chaos”. He is fine even when things aren’t fixed right away, unlike me.

This is one of my common frustrations when I first lived with my husband. I can tell you, it is definitely stressful at times!

Months passed, we learned how to manage household chores eventually. There’s less tension, and we have set a balance that allowed us to be ourselves too. So in this post, I will be sharing some useful tips when household tasks bring stress in your marriage.

Fighting too much?

Do you feel like your marriage is on the brink of divorce? Are there other deep-seated issues that need to be addressed in your relationship?

If so, I encourage you to read this article by Dr. Amy Waterman about how to save your marriage even at the face of an impending divorce. It has helped many couples recover from devastating situations.

When household tasks bring stress: 5 steps to solve it together

1. Let each other know about a set schedule for household tasks

One of the common sources of our arguments is when I ask my husband to do something right away without telling him beforehand. In order to solve this problem, I have learned to let him know of some tasks he needs to do during the week such as doing the laundry on Saturdays. This way, you won’t be disrupting precious rest time and his mind is mentally prepared to do the chores.

2. Be fair in the division of labor

This is especially applicable for stay-at-home wives. Do you always nag your husband to do chores even if you know that he is spent from work? Be considerate in dividing the labor. I know, it is stressful to do household tasks while taking care of the kids. But it is also a good measure to understand your husband’s physical and mental condition after coming home from work.

So in my example, Charles does the laundry, and I fold the clothes. He does the once-a-week major dishwashing, and I do the day-to-day minor dishwashing. Things like that can help you feel that the task is fair and no arguments will spring from the situation.

3. Say “thank you” to each other

Sometimes, we forget the habit of saying thank you. In fact, household chores seem like an obligation rather than a favor to each other. Other people would think it’s a thankless job. When household tasks bring stress, remember to change your perspective on it. It’s something you do out of love.

The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 16:14:

When we think that everything we do is out of love, it becomes easier. We become appreciative of our spouses. So in every chance possible, be sure to say “thank you” when your husband or wife finishes the household tasks.

4. Do the chores that you enjoy

Another helpful tip when household tasks bring stress in your household is to divide the chores according to your preference. It is usually bearable for me to sweep the floor than to clean the toilet bowl. Charles is less squirmish with that and can clean the toilet bowl because he sees that it’s a quicker task then sweeping the floor all around the house.

Dividing the work according to your preferences can make the job easier as well. Do not force each other, rather volunteer on what you think you can do better.

5. Remind more, nag less

Do you know that giving gentle reminders are more effective than nagging? In fact, people feel a sense of guilt when they know they weren’t able to accomplish something and the burden is passed to another person instead.

Instead of angrily bickering over why your husband forgot to place his socks on the dirty laundry basket, you can do it and tell him later on “I saw that you didn’t put your socks in the laundry so I just did it myself. Next time honey please do it, it won’t take much effort anyway.” A gentle reminder makes the person less defensive and more motivated to do the task.

When Household Tasks Bring Stress: Are you fighting too much?

Do you feel like your marriage is on the brink of divorce? Are there other deep-seated issues that need to be addressed in your relationship?

If so, I encourage you to read this article by Dr. Amy Waterman about how to save your marriage even in the face of an impending divorce. It has helped many couples recover from devastating situations.

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