It has been a common stereotype to stress about in-laws. Whether it’s a cultural difference, personality clashes, or any other issue under the sun, you and your in laws may be prone to conflicts along the course of your marriage. Others would feel discomfort, but others even border on getting angry! Perhaps you may be wondering what to do with in laws you hate.
What to do with in laws you hate: As the saying goes…
Marrying someone means also marrying their family–a lot of people will tell you that “you signed up for it” and that you just “need to grin and bear it”. Although this seems like a tough-love advice, it doesn’t work well for people who are wondering how they can deal with the emotional and physical stress of dealing with their in laws.
I am thankful that I have loving and amazing in laws, but I often wonder how people with different cultures adjust to their own. So, I hope in this post, I would be able to help someone with an aching hear dealing with family problems in their marriage.
Save your marriage even if you don’t like your in laws!
Is it possible to salvage your marriage even if there are problems between you and your in laws? The simple answer is, yes! It is definitely possible. You need to adopt the right mindset and attitude within your marriage to help you save it.
I suggest looking into this program called “Save Your Marriage”, it is designed for couples to understand how they can get over the patch of mistrust, conflict, and regain the love they once had for each other.
What to do with in laws you hate: 5 awesome strategies
Identify the triggers
Before dismissing the idea that you “hate” your in laws, think about the possible triggers that cause your conflict with each other. Is it your parenting style? Is it the way you manage your household? The way you treat their son/daughter? Think about what causes the problem and start from there. Once you identify it, it can be good to either: face the problem, or avoid it altogether.
Facing the problem or avoiding it altogether is based on the nature of the problem and how accepting your in laws are. Remember, the older generation will be more assertive than you are, considering that they come from years of experience.
In short, they are assuming that they have been in your shoes once in your life, so it is best to be respectful and accept the wisdom they have to offer. Choose your battles between your in laws.
There are also resources to help
Do you feel like you have a toxic in law? There’s a special book that can help you build strategies to protect your marriage while knowing how to deal with a difficult in laws.
Deal with your spouse first
Another way to help smooth out conflicts with your in laws is to bring the problem with your spouse first. As a general rule, couples must approach each other first if they have issues with one another’s parents.
Your spouse knows their parents best. So if there’s anyone who can help you out with the problem, they are the best people to approach.
You can tell them to help you address the issue, or you can tell them to be a spokesperson on your behalf. This way, things don’t get misunderstood.
Understand that no family is perfect
As you conclude on what to do with in laws you hate, you need to understand that no family is perfect. Those picture-perfect families you see on Facebook or in the magazines have problems of their own.
This means that every family has their own set of challenges, and don’t feel like you’re alone in the situation. All it takes is a bit more patience, understanding, and active ways to help solve the conflict along with your partner.
Honoring your marriage means honoring your in laws
Do you want your marriage to work? Do you want to honor God in all that you do? This means that we should honor our mother and our father, including our in laws.
The Bible states in Exodus 20:12:
This is a commandment with a promise! If you want to live long and experience peace and success, it is good to show honor and respect to your in laws, no matter how difficult it may seem.
What to do with in laws you hate: Take action now!
Even if you are not happy with your situation about your in laws, there are still some things you can do to strengthen your marriage.
Don’t forget to check out the guide called “Save Your Marriage” and put and end to your uncertainties once and for all.
Subscribe to our blog
Did you like our post, “What to do with in laws you hate”? If you did, we would be happy to include you in our newsletter. You will be receiving more tips about marriage, relationships, family, as well as practical home guides. As a free gift, we will also be including our e-book called “Grow Your Love” which contains practical advice about relationships. Just enter your name and e-mail below.
