Men. They always say that women are the only complex things in this world. However, they fail to look at themselves. They are not as simple as they think they are. This is probably why you’re thinking about how to be patient with a man.
Their quality of being so straightforward and not detail-oriented can make us, women, so frustrated and stressed, most of the time. You try to communicate a different perspective of certain situations, but they stick to their own perspective.
Why are men so complicated?
Have you ever thought to yourself, why are men so complicated? Is there a way to understand them completely?
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I know, dealing with them can be exhausting and tiring but remember that God designed them that way. It was clear in the bible that God created us in His own image and created both male and female (Genesis 1:27). These are two separate beings with different designs but were created to work together.
Which means that God has a reason why he designed man the way they are. Can you imagine a world where we act and think like females? It would be a world full of drama, emotions, and chaos. How about a world where we all respond like males? Ego, unemotional, and straightforwardness would be the case. In short, it wouldn’t be as fun as how life is now.
See? God created both to balance everything. This is the reason why, even though they can be tough to deal with, we have to be patient with them.
Yes, you’ve read that right. It is stated in the bible that God is delighted when we choose to be gentle and have a quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4), and that we should be patient and bear one another with love (Ephesians 4:2). This means that we should possess these characters, most especially in dealing with men. God surely knows that men are hard to handle and that they need patience from us.
So, the question “How to be patient with a man?” still lies. I think the best way to do it is to follow how Jesus was patient with us.
Don’t Close Your Mind to Them
In the life of Jesus, we can see that He spends more time with those people who are broken, are imperfect and are considered sinners. He never closed His mind on them. Instead, He accepted them with an open mind and open hearts, knowing that all of them are work in progress.
This is how we should be patient with man. We must never close our minds on them, thinking that they will never change or that they will never improve because all of us are a work in progress. If we look at them like how Jesus looked at them, we will cultivate that patient heart towards them because we know, deep in our hearts, that we also are imperfect. Just like them, we can be hard to handle and can be complicated beings towards them. Come to think of it, men also are patient towards us.
Always Choose to Understand
Jesus, even though was denied by Peter three times, did not hold any grudge. He understands that Peter is human and that He needs to choose to understand. Not to mention the Roman guards that mocked and tortured him during the crucifixion, Jesus chose to understand them simply because He loves them and they know that they need to be saved.
We also must practice this character – choosing to understand regardless of what we think. Don’t get me wrong, if you think you are being abused already, then that is a different thing. What I mean by choosing to understand is that there will be a situation where the man you are with, may it be your spouse, dad, siblings, boyfriend or friend, will have characters that are hard to deal with. Remember, they are humans so they will feel discouragements, disappointments, and failure. Or they might become unreasonable and will cling to their ego and pride. These are the moments where they need patience the most. It’s up to us to extend this patience just like how Jesus extended His patience to you and me.
Ask God for Patience
When you read Jesus’ life, you will see that He would set aside a part of His day to go to the mountain and pray. He communes with His Father, maybe just asking for guidance, leading or simply just spending time with Him. We can see that His time with the Father gave Him the strength and patience that He needs to fulfill His purpose here on earth – to sacrifice His life for humanity.
This is the most crucial thing for us to do if we want to be patient with the guys we are dealing with. Just like the saying goes, you can never give something if you do not have it. We can never be patient or give patience to man if we do not possess it ourselves. That is why it is important to spend time with God in our devotions or quiet times and ask for patience, specifically. We should lift up our concerns to Him and simply ask a heart like His, a patient and loving heart. When you are starting to become irritated towards them, pray. When you still find it hard to extend grace and patience, pray earnestly for more. The good thing about this is that we can be confident that God will answer us if we ask for patience and love towards man since this is what He wants us to do. So, go ahead and ask from the greatest source of patience – God.
Being patient with the man you are with can be overwhelming at times. Sometimes, you can’t seem to handle them and you simply don’t know what to do anymore. When this time comes, fix your eyes on Jesus and see how He unselfishly extended His love and patience towards you. Look at His character, how He accepts you with an open mind and how He continuously choose to understand you, even if you are difficult at times. Once we look to Jesus, He will definitely guide us and teach us how to be patient with a man.
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