Is overthinking a common thing to you? Do you keep asking yourself why things did not go the way you thought they would be? Do you want to know how to stop overthinking the past and would just allow life to happen the way it is meant to happen?
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Some people can easily say, “that’s all in the past now, time to move on.” However, if you are like me, the things we usually say is “What if I’m going to fail again? What would I do if what happened in the past won’t happen again? Am I good enough? Because of the way I see myself, based on the past, I always fail.”
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Yes, I am an overthinker and it’s hard. Whenever the surge of thoughts is coupled with emotions of anxiety and fear, I can’t seem to think of a good thing that is happening around me. I tend to focus on the negativity of my overthinking and the numerous scenarios and ideas of what I think will happen rather than trying to see the positive side of the situation and how it actually is.
Sounds familiar?
Overthinking about what happened in the past can be one of the worst things we can experience. The thought of not being able to control the outcome or the consequences of the past is scary and can be draining mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. And because it’s uncomfortable and it’s hard to fight, we try to look for ways and solutions on how to stop overthinking the past.
But before we figure out how to stop it, we must first know what we are dealing with.
What is overthinking?
Overthinking is defined as a certain kind of thought process that greatly consumes mental energy without adding any additional value. It is thinking about something for too long and for too much.
This means to say that when we overthink, we spend too much time using our energy in thinking of different things but fail to act and do things that will actually help. Instead of doing possible solutions and improvements about the past, overthinking focuses on what happened, how you think it should happen, and the thing that will happen.
Overthinking dwells on the “what if…”, the “it should have been this and that…”, and the “maybe, because of…”
We sometimes trick ourselves believing that what we are doing is problem-solving. However, we don’t actually solve problems when we overthink. Problem-solving is spending time thinking about the solutions to what happened which makes it productive. Overthinking only spends time about how the situation made you feel and about the things that are out of your control. It is not helpful.
Why Do We Overthink The Past?
For me, I tend to overthink the past when I don’t like what happened and I want to change it. Since it already happened, all I can do is think of the situations that I should have done during that time. And because I’m thinking of why I was not able to do it, I end up thinking that I am a failure.
For example, before me and my boyfriend were together, he was pursuing one of our friends. Because of his past, I sometimes overthink whenever I see him interact with the girl. I analyze his actions and end up overthinking that maybe he is not over her and makes me feel mad and anxious, at the same time. Then, it would stem out to different scenarios such as him leaving me behind because he still loves her or him cheating on me.
There can be a lot of reasons why we overthink, and it differs from each person. People overthink because…
… they can’t find a solution to the problem they are dealing with.
… they can’t change some situations in their lives
… they find it hard to accept the truth or their failures
… they worry about the output of their hard work
… they fail to prioritize the things that they have in mind
No matter what the reasons are, overthinking will not help us fix what needs to be fixed. It will not help improve the situation or solve the problem.
Can we overcome overthinking?
Based on experience, when overthinking is starting to consume my thought process, it is difficult to stop it. It’s like a boulder falling on the side of the cliff, it keeps rolling. It doesn’t stop.
However, the Bible clearly tells us in Philippians 4:6-7 that “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
This gives us the assurance that we can overcome overthinking!
So, how do we do it? Let me share to you some effective strategies on how to stop overthinking the past.
Catch yourself in the moment of overthinking
It always starts with one thought.
When I think of the times I overthink, it always starts a thought that makes me feel doubtful and anxious. Once the thought is coupled with strong emotions of anxiety and fear, it automatically spreads like a wildfire. I create different scenes in my mind, most of them are worst-case scenarios.
These kinds of thoughts are called intrusive thoughts. These are thoughts that seem to come out of nowhere, lingers, and cause distress. Some Intrusive thoughts examples consist of worries about unanswered questions, repetitive doubts about relationships, sexual orientations or identity, and fear about safety, religion, or death.
So, you need to stop overthinking by identifying the things that will trigger it and catch yourself in the moment of overthinking.
Look back on those moments where you were overthinking and identify the common factors that lead you to it. For me, it was that one thought that is coupled with an emotion of doubt and anxiety.
Once you identify these triggers, make sure that you counter it by slapping its faces with the opposites. For example, when a negative thought arises in my mind and I begin to doubt and become anxious, I slap it with a positive thought. I oppose the negative thought with a positive one. Like instead of thinking, “I think I’m not going to pass the interview because I’ll fail”, I shake that thought by thinking, “Hey! I have enough experience to pass that interview. So, I have an edge to slay it!”
Learning to identify these intrusive thoughts will allow you to easily catch and take hold of yourself from overthinking. It will help you recognize the unwanted behaviors that you are unconsciously doing before getting caught off-guard.
[Recommended] How to stop overthinking the past? Beat overthinking with cognitive behavioral therapy
Did you know that one of the most effective psychotherapies available at present is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)? Basically, it is a form of therapy that helps people replace unwanted thought patterns by re-training the brain to develop new ways to think. In this resource, you will discover ways to banish anxiety using CBT techniques. You can find this CBT guide in Amazon.
Don’t attach emotions when overthinking
Whenever I overthink the past, a common thing I observe is I become a pessimist and have strong feelings of anxiousness, irritability, and doubtful. The more I cling to what I feel, the more the overthinking develops.
This is the reason why it is important NOT to attach emotions when overthinking of the past.
I’m not saying to deny what you feel. It’s okay to feel and emotions are valid. Emotions are God’s design for us to see the beauty in life. However, it should not be fuel to your thinking process. Emotions should not lead us. Instead, we control our emotions by letting God lead us.
So, don’t attach emotions when overthinking because when you attach emotions to past memories – such as feeling mad, regretful, unsatisfied – you create neural connections that will strengthen those thoughts. And once you solidify these thoughts with emotion, it’s hard to stop overthinking.
Distract yourself with productive hobbies
I had my recent “overthinking the past” moment and what I did to stop myself from the stress was spending time with our dog. The next thing I did was spending time with myself by drinking coffee in a coffee shop and writing on my life journal while praying and reading God’s word. It helped me ease the anxiety I felt at that time.
Some think that the anxiety caused by overthinking needs to be dealt with medications. However, dealing with anxiety without medications is achievable.
You need to distract yourself by doing productive hobbies and activities.
Whenever you start to see yourself overthinking about the past, look for hobbies and activities that you love to distract yourself. You can choose to…
… read a book you enjoy.
… do exercise or sports.
… talk to your loved ones or friends.
… start on learning skills you are interested in.
The list can go on. Choose activities that you are interested in, you love, and you are passionate about. This way, you can replace your overthinking with productiveness that will help improve yourself.
Surrender your past to God
As I am writing this article and look back at the moments I overthink, I can’t help but notice that my overthinking immediately dissipates whenever I come to God, humble myself, and surrender what I am going through to Him.
This is the best thing we can do – surrendering our past to God and trusting His sovereignty, that He placed us exactly where He wants us to be.
Overthinking the past will hinder you from hearing God’s leading and comfort. Instead of seeking God’s instructions on what to do or what to focus on, it will make you focus on the negativity instead.
So, continuously ask God on How to let go of the past and forgive the offenses that were made. Choose to meditate on His word day and night to fill your mind with right thoughts. Come to God in prayer and communicate every thought, every doubt, and every fear that causes you to overthink. Pray in Jesus’ name to let go of the negative thoughts about the past.
Ask God to help you apply what is said in Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
Surrender the past. Remember, LET GO AND LET GOD do His thing.
It’s time to think about better things!
Overthinking about the past can look like Goliath that is too big and hard to defeat, but with the right kind of slingshot and stones, we can defeat it just like how David did it – Fighting with the knowledge that in Jesus Christ, we are victorious.
As we learn how to stop overthinking the past, let us not forget to make God as our partner in this journey because He promised us that He will be with us and He will never forsake us. Never let go of what He promised in Joshua 1:9,
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Don’t forget to check out the resources mentioned above:
Written by: Hannah Aloyon
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