How simple would life be if people were always on the same page. However, this is not always how it goes, especially in love. There are others who are in a situation where they are loving someone who isn’t ready. They feel stuck, and they aren’t sure if they should continue on with that relationship. Are you one of these people?
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When you are loving someone who isn’t ready to commit
I could say I’ve been in your situation a couple of times in my life. I have met guys who say that they “love me” but their actions showed that they aren’t just willing to commit. Looking back, I realized that these people have different reasons why they are not ready for the ‘next step’ in the relationship.
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Why are some people not ready?
As I have mentioned, there are several probable reasons why you find yourself loving someone who isn’t ready. Whether it’s to commit to an official relationship, get married, start a family, or take any big decision, here are some things you might consider why they are reluctant.
- They are unsure about you. The reason why they tell you they aren’t ready is maybe because they are not sure about their feelings for you. Although there is an initial attraction, they may not want to commit because they aren’t sure if you’re the type of person they want to be with. Rest assured though, that this is not about you most of the time–it has something to do with their own expectations about having a partner or a relationship.
- They are not in a good place. Some life situations can prevent them from committing. If they don’t want to have a child, one cause is that they may not be financially or mentally ready. Some want to be stable in all areas of their life before making a big commitment.
- They have personal issues. Another common cause are personal matters they have to deal with. Is there a problem in that person’s family? Health issues? Internal struggles? These are reasons you want to look at as well.
Now that you looked into some causes why you find yourself loving someone who isn’t ready, here are some ways on how you can deal with it in a godly way.
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Loving someone who isn’t ready: Ways to cope
Reassure their hesitations.
If you want to take a more active approach in this problem and you know that the hindrance is something within your control, you can reassure them of their hesitations.
For example, a lady who had a history of bad relationships may not commit to you because they experience trauma from putting their trust too much. You can assure your person of interest that your situation is different and that they can put their trust in you. If it’s financial, reassure them that you can provide and they don’t have to worry.
As long as you can provide whatever they need to feel reassured, you can express that they don’t have to worry.
Wait for God’s timing.
If after reassuring him or her about things and you still feel like you’re loving someone who isn’t ready to commit, the best thing you can do is wait for God’s timing.
There’s a verse about how God appoints the right time for things, especially for those who obey Him:
“When the time is right, I the Lord, will make it happen.” – Isaiah 60:22
There are instances when we feel like God is delaying our plans, but our earthly wisdom is no match for how much He sees in the grand scheme of things. In these situations, you need to trust God that His timing is perfect.
I imagine if all those people in my past were to be ready at that time when I wanted them to. I wouldn’t have met my now-husband who eventually became everything I prayed for. Looking back, I know that He orchestrated everything in His perfect timing.
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Let go and let God.
There are also situations where loving someone who isn’t ready means that relationship isn’t something that could work out in the end. Some signs of a tumultuous relationship that may not work or end up hurting you, include:
- Being different in your core values: Core values include your faith, parenting beliefs, having children, or even the idea of getting married.
- Abuse: When you experience any type of abuse, this is a red flag.
- Toxic relationship: He or she constantly brings you down, is controlling, yet unwilling to commit
These are some signs of a relationship where you may need to let go. Of course, if you’re already within the context of marriage, it is best to consult a spiritual leader regarding that matter.
Letting go and letting God can be painful, but sometimes it is the decision that can give you peace. Pray about it, seek His Word, and trust that He will work out your situation to bring you peace.
I hope this post helps you out! Don’t forget to check the resources mentioned above as well:
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