Disappointment can come in many forms. Whether it’s something that your spouse has done or something they shouldn’t have, sometimes you can’t help but think thoughts like “I’m disappointed with my husband” or “I’m disappointed with my wife”! These thoughts can harbor feelings of resentment towards your spouse.
What causes disappointment?
Disappointment happens when you have a certain image of your spouse. You have in the ideal image of them in your mind, say, the ideal version may be dependable, loving, caring, looks good, and sweeps you off your feet! How lovely would it be to have that idealistic image of your spouse all the time?
Sadly, things don’t always go according to plan. You may be surprised that the more you know about your husband or wife, the more that they become disappointing! Now, you can’t help but rant again, “I’m disappointed with my husband!” What gives?
Solving problems in your marriage
Working on your marriage is doesn’t have a quick-fix solution. It involves daily sacrifice, as well as knowing your partner’s love language.
Do you want to develop the mindsets you need to work out your marriage? I encourage you to look through this guide and understand how you can save your marriage once and for all.
In this post, we will be understanding what to do when you are disappointed in your spouse.
I’m disappointed with my husband: What should I do?
Understand the cause of disappointment.
As husbands and wives, we might find ourselves being disappointed in whatever our spouses do. This is due to the continued level of resentment that built up over the years. The best way to solve this is to understand the primary cause of your disappointment.
Do they always forget things? Do they have an addiction? Are they not speaking your love language? Are they not spending enough time with you? Do they avoid resolving conflicts?
Whatever it is, understand the real reason why you are disappointed.
By understanding the true reason why you feel this way, it is better for you to address the problem to your spouse.
A guided journal to express your feelings
Studies show that writing can be a healthy outlet to help you deal with negative emotions. This guided journal made for handling feelings of disappointment may be a useful tool. It’s available in Amazon.
Communicate your issues properly.
I’ve said this before and I will say it again: It is important to communicate your issues properly. You can’t simply play a guessing game with your husband or wife, hoping that they will “get” what you mean.
It is important to say what you truly feel, but not become accusative by doing so. For example, you’re always disappointed that you are left alone taking care of the kids while he is out hanging with his friends.
Instead of saying words like “You always hang out with your friends! You ALWAYS leave the responsibilities to me!”, it may be better to explain how you feel when he does such actions: “I feel alone when…”, “I feel stressed out when…”.
Generalizing statements such as “You ALWAYS leave the responsibilities to me” isn’t entirely true–and this is the reason why some people start to go defensive and return back hurtful words.
Understand that you are human–and your spouse is, too!
Who isn’t prone to making mistakes? In fact, we disappoint people every day. It’s your choice to feel disappointment or to work in improving your relationship with your partner.
It is easy to say that your husband or wife disappoints you, but have you thought about the times you have disappointed them too? Perhaps they didn’t complain, so you didn’t notice. Remember that relationships are teamwork–you need to have a solid way to communicate your needs and understand one another for both of you to succeed.
Rely on the One who doesn’t disappoint
The truth is, it’s not just your spouse who will make you feel disappointed. At one point in your life, everyone will. So, should you completely rely on people to make you feel secure?
This is something important I learned with my marriage. It is important to look unto God and rely on Him instead of people. When I am disappointed with my husband, I trust God and pray that things will be better. When you are disappointed in your wife, ask for peace from God in your heart.
As you rely on the One who doesn’t disappoint, the more that it will be easier for you to handle disappointments from other people, including your spouse.
I’m disappointed with my husband: act now!
Don’t forget to check out the guide to save your marriage, and learn how to handle disappointments better.
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