So, you look at the relationship you are in and you start assessing its state right now. You have these questions that seem hard to admit that you have them and you can’t bear to imagine that you are actually thinking about it. Is that right? Should I even be here? You begin to wonder, “Is my relationship toxic?”
Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links.
Is my relationship toxic? Expert Advice
Are you thinking to yourself, “is my relationship toxic”? An expert reveals the power of words to help repair your relationship. Sometimes, communication can be a struggle if you are both upset or annoyed at each other. However, using soothing and positive words used at the right moment can be a big help. If you are interested to know more, CLICK HERE
One of the hardest things that we get to experience in life is that moment when you see the relationship that started so perfect and warm ended up being cold and draining. You look at it and you can’t help but remember those days when both of you are on the same page but now, it’s totally different. It is not the same and it doesn’t feel the same way anymore. And you can’t deny the question that lingers in your mind. “Is my relationship toxic?”.
Let me know that these things happen and most of the time, it’s out of our control. Remember that the only constant thing in this world is change and change does happen, most especially with people and relationships. We don’t want it to happen and we try to fix what we can fix but that does not work all the time.
Also read: Feeling lost at 25: 5 Ways to Deal
If you can relate to what I’m saying and you want to know the answer to your question “is my relationship toxic?”, here are the 5 common things that can indicate that the relationship is toxic.
Both of you are not growing
The relationship is toxic when you feel you are not growing anymore. When I say growth, this means your totality as a person: physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically.
I believe that God made us as relational beings because we need others to grow. Being in a relationship is the best venue for us to learn and improve ourselves. Even though there are times were disagreements and conflicts, it is in these times that we get to grow and be refined.
However, when you’re in a relationship when you know that you’re not growing anymore, then I can say that it is a toxic relationship already. Instead of growth, you feel that degradation and decrease. Bear in mind that God would not send you someone who would hinder your growth.
Recommended read: Mindful loving
Sometimes, another factor of being toxic in relationships is when couples refuse to be mature. In this book titled “How to be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving”, you will learn how to intentionally grow and maintain your relationships. Click here to find in Amazon.
You always argue and fight
The relationship is toxic when you always have unresolved fights and arguments. I’m not saying that in a relationship, disagreements are a bad thing. Actually, it’s normal. Since both of you have different backgrounds, the difference in view and preferences can sometimes be the cause of fights. However, when these arguments are unresolved and keep on happening without the intention of fixing it, then this is a clear sign that the relationship is toxic.
Remember that in a healthy relationship, both of you know that arguments are bound to happen but you both decide to deal and learn from them since you love one another. Toxic relationships have these fights but are not willing to resolve them.
You don’t know who you are
A relationship should be a venue for you to bloom and flourish. It is designed by God in such a way that it would help you discover sides of you that would never be discovered if you are single.
A relationship is toxic when you don’t know who you are anymore simply because you can’t be yourself. When you are at a point where you need to let go of your own standards and thing you believe in so that your partner would accept you and stay is unhealthy. Relationships should allow you to be who you really are and would accept you for who you are.
If you’re beginning to feel and see that you’re can’t be yourself anymore and you lost your value, you are in a toxic relationship.
You think of not being with that person
The relationship is already toxic when you start to think about not being with the person already.
In a healthy relationship, you get to see yourself spending your life with them and you can’t wait to share every important moment of your life with your partner. Just the by being with them makes, it makes you happy and you feel comfortable around them.
When you can’t see your future with that person and not being with them makes you feel free, then the relationship you are in is unhealthy.
You don’t love God more than each other
Lastly, the relationship is toxic when you start to love the other more than God.
God is the author of love. He is Love himself and the reason we can love is that God gave us the ability to love. The thing is when we love God more than anything else, he teaches us how to love the people around us because we experience it first hand from Him. He teaches us to love selflessly which makes the relationship healthy. So when you start to love others more than God, the relationship becomes toxic because you love out of selfishness and selfish gain.
If you see these things in your relationships and somehow answers your question, “Is my relationship toxic?”, don’t be afraid to do something about it. Ask for help from a trusted friend and seek counsel from someone that can give you godly wisdom. Remember God’s promise in 1 Peter 5:6-7, “ Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” Don’t lose hope, God’s in control.
Is my relationship toxic? Subscribe for more
Did you enjoy this post about finding out if your relationship is toxic? We would like to include you in our newsletter! You will receive updates on marriage, lifestyle, and spiritual topics, as well as our free gift, an e-book called “Grow Your Love” to help with your relationships. Just enter your name and e-mail below.
