For a relationship to work and last longer, there are major factors that are involved. One of these is trust. Trusting your significant other is crucial in a relationship. This means that you know that he treats you right by respecting you. And by respecting you means that he is being honest with you in every aspect of the relationship. The trust that you have for each other helps both of you to grow and be fruitful. Perhaps you have been asking yourself, “I caught him in a lie, what should I do?”
Also read: Is My Relationship Toxic? 5 Signs to Look Out For
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However, there are instances when the other lies. This is very dangerous in a relationship because lies can break the trust that should be cultivated between the two of you. When you discover that your boyfriend lies to you, this causes too much negativity such as mistrust, pain, betrayal, and to some extent,
Are you currently in this kind of situation right now? You found out your boyfriend or husband is lying to you and you don’t know why this is happening? If you are saying “I caught him in a lie, what should I do?”, here are three things that I suggest that can help you deal with it.
Pray first.
Admitting to yourself “I caught him in a lie” can be hard and very difficult to swallow. Most especially when you trust your partner that he won’t do it and you least expect it. However, bear in mind also that we are not perfect and just like you, your partner is a work in progress as well. I suggest after finding out that he did lie to you, pray first.
Pray that you are in pain and that you are hurt by your partner’s action. Pray that God will give you the grace and strength to deal with the situation and that no matter how hard it is, you will learn to forgive. Pray and ask for God’s wisdom that He will help you assess the reason and see the motives behind the lying. Pray also for your partner that God will soften and prepare his heart when you communicate to him.
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Running to God in a hurtful is the best decision you can do. He promised in 1 Peter 5:7 that you can give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. So, by praying to Him, this will allow you to unload all the hurts and pain that you feel in discovering that he lied to you. Another thing is when you pray, you help yourself calm down first. When we are emotional, the tendency is we act according to our emotions and the danger in this is that we do things that we regret afterward. And when you pray, believe that God knows your situation and that He will help you get through it.
I know the first reaction we usually do when we are hurting is we immediately confront the person that caused the hurt. However, there is also wisdom in trying to pause and choosing to pray first about the situation.
Talk to your partner.
After praying and asking God for guidance on what to do with the situation, prepare yourself and talk to your partner.
Remember that having clear communication with your partner is an important thing in a relationship. Make sure that when you communicate and tell him what you found out, you do it in a calm manner to create a peaceful and clear communication. Make it known to him that you find out that he was lying to you, how it made you feel, and that you want to know why he did it. The aim of your talk is to calmly relay to him your side and know his side as well.
Know that even though you’re saying that “I caught him in a lie” and would want to take revenge for what he did, kindness and forgiveness still goes a long way. God will be honored and pleased when we choose to be
Plan your course of action.
After talking to him and knowing the reason why he did it, you can now plan your course of action.
You can decide based on the result of your talk. If both of you still want to work out on the relationship, I highly encourage that both of you think of ways on how to prevent it from happening again. Depending on the reason of the lying, suggests ways for your partner so that he will not lie to you anymore.
For example, if the reason for his lying is that he doesn’t want to hurt you with the truth, tell him if you prefer to know the truth and suggest ways on how he can tell you. This will help you rebuild the trust that was broken. And if you can, seeking help from a mature godly couple that can help you cope up with what happened. They can give godly wisdom that can be of help in your relationships. Having accountability and being counseled by people you can trust with can help you and your partner grow more despite the faults that were committed.
However, if you think that continuing the relationship would be unhealthy already, then you might want to explain to him that it would not be wise to continue.
Acknowledging the phrase “I caught him in a lie” can be scary and hurtful, but this does not mean that you don’t deal with it. Be brave to face the issue with your partner and know that God promises in Psalm 32:8, “The LORD says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.”
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