People have this notion that when a person is married, everything is perfect and happy. However, in reality, that is always not the case. There are times in marriage where spouses need to adjust with each other, which in turn results in tension and offenses. These circumstances, if not dealt properly, can sometimes lead to emotional burnout and loss of intimacy between spouses. Both might feel unhappy in marriage and will tend to focus on other things rather than trying to fix the issues. Perhaps you may be thinking of what to do when married and in love with someone else.
Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links.
Also read:
Most of the time, it is in this moments where a spouse will have the tendency to focus on the negative qualities of their partner and see qualities that they like in another person. If this is not controlled or dismissed, it will then make them become attracted and fall in love with the other person.
[Special] What to do when married and in love with someone else: Do you desire to repair your marriage?
There is a reason why you are married to your spouse. Your relationship may seem blurry right now, but there is actually a way to save it. In a video presented by relationship expert Lee Baucom, he brings some strategies that can help you save your marriage even if you’re the only one who wants to fix it. Click here to know more.
Is this familiar to you? Do you know someone who is exactly going through the same situation? Is your spouse in love with someone else? Are you wondering what to do when married and in love with someone else? It sounds like a very difficult situation to be in but knows that there are ways on how to deal with it.
What To Do When Married And In Love With Someone Else: Things To Understand
Understand the difference between emotions and commitment
First thing that on what to do when married and in love with someone else is to understand the difference between emotions and commitment. Emotions is the tingling feeling of joy and excitement when you see the person you like. It is the driving force of why a person feels like they are “swept under” their feet and fall in love. However, emotions are inconsistent. Sometimes you feel it, sometimes you don’t. Sometimes it stays and the next thing you know it, it fades away.
Commitment, on the other hand, is a conscious decision to follow through whatever situations a person vowed to be in, despite the emotions
Whenever you feel that you are in love with someone else that is not your spouse, assess and think hard before deciding on what to choose. Don’t decide immediately. Take a step back, if you must, and try to look at the bigger picture. Do you want to throw away what you have built together with your spouse and follow your emotion, or do you want to choose commitment?
Be honest with yourself: Is it really worth it?
Once you have figure out what decision you need to choose, you must be honest with yourself and think if it is really worth it.
Know that whatever decision we make in this lifetime, there are corresponding results and consequences to it. If you choose to follow your emotions, are you ready to face the consequences that accompany it? There are a lot of things that can happen should you decide to continue falling in love with the person that is not your spouse. One is the family you’ve built together will surely be broken. This will greatly affect your children and how they will deal with life. Second is you will inflict a lot of pain to your spouse, whether they show it or not. Third, if you fall in love with someone else and choose to be separated from your spouse, you must deal with a lot of changes and costly processes like divorce and annulments.
Are these things worth it? Remember, every action has consequences.
Focus on the ways to improve your marriage
If you decided to choose commitment and stay in your marriage, try to change your perspective and focus on ways on how to improve your marriage. Instead of looking at the flaws and mistakes your spouse has committed, always choose to forgive and help yourself remember the reasons why you married them in the first place.
But this doesn’t mean that you need to do this alone. Communicate with your spouse what you truly feel and the struggles you are going through in the marriage. Tell the gently of the reasons why you are struggling with these issues and try to find solutions together. Remember that in marriage, communication is important. With a quiet and a gentle spirit, make them understand where you are coming from and listen as well to what they are also trying to communicate to you. Remember that you are a team and that together, both of you should help each other find ways to improve your marriage.
[Special] What to do when married and in love with someone else? You can still save your marriage!
Desiring to save your marriage can sometimes mean you have to fight for it. In this featured book of the week, called “Fighting For Your Marriage”, the principles of keeping your marriage strong are discussed.
The third edition of the best-selling classic on marriage enhancement and divorce
prevention, features the latest research and changes of heart in our culture and society. New and revised, Fighting for Your Marriage is based on the widely acclaimed PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program) approach. Groundbreaking studies have found that couples can use the strategies of this approach to handle conflict more constructively, protect their happiness, and reduce the odds of breaking up. Find in Amazon.
Think of practical ways to rekindle the fire of your relationship with your spouse. Bond and spend time together. Husbands, pursue your wives again and wives, respond to your husband’s initiation. Take time in doing these ways, making sure to respect the readiness of your spouse to participate in improving your marriage.
Lift up your marriage to God
Lastly, the best thing on what to do when married and in love with someone else is to surrender and lift your marriage to God.
Remember that God is sovereign, and He is always in control with your life. He is the one who joined you and your spouse together. Whenever things like these happen, it is important that you surrender your marriage to God, acknowledging that He alone can fix yours and your spouse’s heart. Seek Him continually during these times and ask the Holy Spirit to help you hear God’s leading and guidance. Let go of your control of your marriage and let God take lead and control of your marriage.
Lifting up your marriage to God shows that you are humbling yourself before Him and trusting Him that even when the situation is difficult and confusing, He is with you and will never leave you in these times of testing.
You may be confused as to what to do when married and in love with someone elsebut I hope these ways can help you clear your mind and find solutions to the dilemma. You may feel guilty or hopeless but know that despite our actions and decisions, God’s love for you will never change. And this love of His will be the driving force to turn things around.
Don’t forget to check out the resources mentioned above:
What to do when married and in love with someone else: Subscribe for more
Did you find this post about “What to do when married and in love with someone else” helpful? If it did, we would like to send in more posts about marriage, family life, lifestyle, and spiritual insights. Also, as a FREE GIFT, we would like to send you our e-book called “Grow Your Love”, to help you with your marriage and relationships. Just enter your name and email below.
