How To Restart My Marriage: 4 Effective Ways

A new year always calls for new beginnings. Perhaps you have been thinking about your personal journey, a new business venture, or even your relationships in general. As the last year comes to a close with all its pains, victories, and lessons learned, maybe this year is the time that you’re reflecting on improving your marriage as well. This is probably why you ended up here and asking ways on “how to restart my marriage”.

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How to restart my marriage: Our marriage journey

My husband and I are a pretty much smooth sailing couple. We bicker here and there, and we do have major personality differences. There are also instances in our journey where we have hurt each other deeply. However, what keeps us strong is our desire to keep our marriage. I am thankful that our marriage is grounded in our faith, and this is why we have fiercely committed to each other since the day we said: “I do”.

Restarting your marriage can be difficult when you’re doing it alone, or when you began the year with a heavy heart. However, there are still some things you can do to gradually build a strong foundation to start a new chapter in your commitment. Here are some tips I believe that can help couples in restarting a marriage.

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How to restart my marriage: Tips to begin anew

Use your best memories to rekindle each other’s love

All love stories begin somewhere. Perhaps it’s that first date, first kiss, or those little moments that hold a special place in your marriage. The first thing you can do is rekindle the flame by taking a trip down memory lane. You can listen to a song, go to a place, or talk about these first-moment experiences to remind you of the love you had for each other.

Restarting your marriage can sometimes mean reminding yourself of how much you loved each other then. Like an unpolished jewel, sometimes life can get in the way and tarnish your love for each other. But, when you try to scrub the surface and ‘go back’ to how it was, you’ll see how shiny and lively things can actually be.

I always loved the coast because it is where my now-husband proposed to me. We also took a honeymoon trip to Hawaii. Those special moments remind me of our excitement and love for each other.

Spend time reflecting on your marriage and how it can be improved

Another thing you can do is you’re asking, “How can I restart my marriage?” is to intentionally reflect on your marriage. As a couple, we do regular check-ins with each other–things we can improve on, or if we’ve hurt each other intentionally or unintentionally.

Sometimes, it is quite awkward to sit down and talk about these difficult topics, but I believe it is essential. To make it easier, you can start a simple habit such as completing a guided journal together such as the 30-Day Marriage Reset Journal.

This 30-Day Marriage Reset Journal can allow you to reflect on each other’s needs, a Bible verse that will inspire you, and things you can do in the future to help each other grow as a couple. In the morning, you can:

Begin with a prayer
Complete the journal prompts
End with a prayer to strengthen each others’ love

This simple yet structured habit can work wonders when you’re asking, “How to restart my marriage”, especially if you don’t know what to reflect on. Find it on Amazon.

See your partner as a person who does not intend to hurt you

People almost don’t hurt their loved ones with the intention of hurting them. Most of the time, they hurt their loved ones because of financial struggles, selfishness, personality problems, and differences in beliefs. These things manifest and cause conflict, but they are not necessarily rooted with the intent to hurt.

So, in restarting your marriage, it is important to see that the person does not intend to hurt you. These shortcomings are rooted in their human nature, the sinful and selfish nature that we all have. When you begin to look at it that way, it is easier to forgive and move forward.

Aligning your priorities

The next important part of how to restart your marriage is to align your priorities. It is very helpful to sit down as a check-in about the things you value in your relationship and life.

This means talking about big and minor things such as:

Personal goals
Financial spending
Kids
Spiritual growth
Hobbies

Aligning your priorities with each other gives you less room for disagreement and hurt feelings. When you know what to expect from each other, it is better to make room for each other’s needs. Doing this at the beginning of the year is a great idea because it is also the time where you can lay down the plans you have.

I hope you found this post helpful! May you have a fruitful and blessed marriage this year and beyond. Don’t forget to check out the 30-Day Marriage Reset Journal as well on Amazon.

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