How To Get Over Feelings Of Inadequacy: Tips That Help

It is a fact that no one is perfect, and contentment is a state we all thrive to be in. However, it is well too common when we feel like we don’t measure up compared to others, or even feel unsatisfied with ourselves and what we do. Thus, we are looking for ways on how to get over feelings of inadequacy.

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Getting over feelings of inadequacy: My personal story

As years go by, I have taken roles from being a daughter, a sister, a student, a professional, then a wife and a mom. In all of these roles, I have experienced moments of feeling like a failure, especially when I am still at my learning curve.

I remember being failing my college algebra exams and having to take a removal exam that will determine my fate if I will go forward in my degree or not. I remember scathing words from parents who are unsatisfied with the work I do for their children. I remember when my son did not breastfeed as long as I would like. These situations often made me wonder how to overcome feelings of inadequacy.

The truth is, learning how to get over feelings of inadequacy both require mindset shifts and actionable steps. In this post, I will be sharing things that helped me out to feel more confident and capable.

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How to get over feelings of inadequacy: 4 things that helped me

Reframing how I see things

I recently read a book on how to manage one’s emotions. In this book, it talked about how situations have no power to influence your thoughts and feelings, no matter what they are.

To prove this, the author gave a simple example of a rainy day. To a farmer, the rainy day signifies irrigation for his crops. To a person whose about to have a garden wedding, it may be a disaster. Their mindsets are influenced by their situation and who they are at present.

Thus, what helped me on getting over feelings of inadequacy is to understand that I have the power to choose how I think (and ultimately act) on certain situations.

For example, I was at the brink of failing my college algebra class. What I did is I took the extra time to hire a private tutor, fasted, and hoped for the best. Instead of thinking I am on the road to failure, I took it as a challenge to learn something complex outside my usual interests. Thankfully, I passed! Even if I didn’t, I still have the power to reframe it as taking the class again and being ahead as I already knew most of the things I will be re-learning.

Being honest with myself

Acceptance is the first step to change. If I am unsatisfied with some areas of my life, I need to be honest with myself on what needs to be done. At the same time, I also need to be honest with those limits in improvement.

For example, I was recently unsatisfied with how I managed my time. I always seem to not have that many hours in a day. When I became honest with myself, I realized that I spend a lot of my mornings just browsing my social media feeds but not really doing anything actionable.

Thus, accepting that there are some things that need to change will empower you to take a step towards things you would want for yourself.

Recording my journey

Another thing that really helped me to avoid negative feelings is journaling. Journaling is my outlet, and it allowed me to recognize thought patterns that will lead me to a downward spiral.

Thus, I created a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) journal that helps you identify negative thought patterns and give you space to think of positive steps toward healing. Find in Amazon.

I remember wondering how to overcome feelings of inadequacy at work. My negative thinking pattern is overgeneralization–a certain negative experience with a parent allowed me to assume that all parents thinks of me this way. This is a cognitive distortion and journaling helped me realize that. Journaling helps you to become aware of your thoughts and realize that they don’t always have to hold power over you.

Anchoring your identity in God

Sometimes we tend to anchor our identities in titles, achievements, and other things that give us the ‘pride of life’. The truth is, all these things fade over time and the only constant thing is how God sees us.

Whenever I want to know how to get over feelings of inadequacy, I remind myself of God’s Word:

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Psalm 139: 13-16

I reflected on this verse and I realized how intentionally God made each one of us. We are formed just the way we are supposed to be and we all serve a unique purpose. That purpose cannot be fulfilled by anyone else, and God is pleased when we glorify Him with who we are and what we do.

When we anchor our identity in God, we won’t feel inadequate because we know we are made as we are. He desires for us to press on and move forward, but at the same time, He also thoughtfully created us for a unique purpose.

I hope this post helps you our on how to overcome feelings of inadequacy! As always, don’t forget to check out my CBT Journal in Amazon:

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