How To Be Mindful In A Relationship: 3 Things To Do

The practice of mindfulness has taken the world by storm. Aside from green smoothies, kale salads, and all other fads, it seems like many people are learning how to be more mindful in their daily lives. Mindfulness proves to have much benefits, but how does this apply in relationships? Perhaps you came in this post because you are wondering how to be mindful in a relationship.

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How to be mindful in a relationship: My personal experience

It is very easy to be mindful with your significant other in the first parts of your relationship. When you first date someone, everything feels new and you feel more present. I can say that this is true for me. I can vividly remember the first time I met my now husband, when he visited my home in the Philippines. The clothes he wore, the weather that day, and even the family he was with and the conversations that went on were so clear in my mind.

This is because at the very beginning, we are intuitively masters of how to be a mindful partner. However, as time passes by, we feel more relaxed and always thinking ‘ahead’ about the next task to do. We forget to live in the moment as our mind are filled with cares. If I was being honest, this is also a common scenario for us now that we are married.

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However, since I discovered the practice of mindfulness, I decided to apply it in my relationships and I saw so much difference in my outlook and reactions. My communication improved with my husband, and we are now enjoying our moments even more together. So, in this post, I want you to make everyday special through mindfulness in your love life, and some tips on how to be more mindful in a relationship.

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How to be mindful in a relationship: Tips that work

Be present in conversations

One skill that I am practicing is truly listening to my husband. Listening and paying attention to what he is saying, his facial expressions, and his enthusiasm in telling his stories, without judgment. These little moments is what our marriage is made of. If I am always listening with the intention to respond, or listening just for the sake of getting it over with, then I am showing that I don’t care about his thoughts, feelings, or in essence, who he is.

According to the book, Mindfulness by Anna Black, some ways to be present in conversation include:

Avoiding interruptions: Do not interrupt your partner in the middle of their story. Pay attention, and create pictures in your mind about what they are truly saying.
Focus on the content: Don’t listen just for the sake of formulating your response. Really listen to what is being said.
Take pauses: You don’t always have to respond right away. You can pause to think of what is the best response to what your partner has last said.

So, if you want to improve your relationships, you need to change the way you think and handle conversations.

Be attuned with your partner’s needs

Another thing that will help you on how to be more mindful in a relationship is being sensitive to your partner’s needs. An example is knowing their love languages. Do they thrive in words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of services, time, or gifts? Or a combination of those?

It is also important to become aware of what your partner needs at the moment. If they are sharing something that is stressing them out, do they need advice, encouragement or just a listening ear? Some people know how to ‘sense’ these things. They can quickly zone in to know what their partner needs–it’s all about a matter of focus. If you’re someone who needs more cues, you can simply ask your loved one what they need. Sometimes, this is what makes marriages fail. When both people cannot become attuned to what each needs, relationship breakdown happens.

Being attuned helps avoid miscommunication and allows you to make your partner feel like they’re cared for and listened to. Learning how to be more mindful in your relationship can be a process, but it something that you can be better on.

Show mindfulness in your shared experiences

Another area that you can show mindfulness on is your shared experiences. There are two kinds of experiences: One are those which are mundane, like daily tasks or routines, and others are ones which are special ones like family travel.

When you spend time with your loved one, it is so important to soak in the whole experience. Become aware of the sensations–sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and everything else that happens during your shared experience. This moment with your loved one is something that will only happen once and never again. This extra attention will help you on how to be mindful in a relationship.

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By practicing mindfulness in your experience, you get to feel the love that’s buried deep inside the routine and monotony in your heart. You’ll feel more affectionate, grateful, and joyful in the presence of your loved one.

I hope these tips help you out! Here’s to your journey on how to be more mindful in your relationship, and hopefully, using these practices to make your love blossom.

Don’t forget to check out the Mindfulness Book by Anna Black and the Love Languages Book by Gary Chapman.

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