Being separated is one of those things that make relationships difficult. Whether it’s voluntary or involuntary, separation makes one feel like we are less accustomed to our partners, giving us negative thoughts such as we are “growing apart”. Perhaps you are in this situation right now, and you want to know how to save your marriage during separation.
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How to save your marriage during separation: My personal experience
The initial years of having a relationship with my husband started with being separated. During our relationship and engagement period, we were essentially separated and we only met for 2 months within those two years. Needless to say, it was a challenging time, but we made it.
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The key to saving your marriage even when you’re apart is to have the same objective about your situation. When you both agree on working out a plan to finally be together, it becomes easier to hold on until that time comes. Below, here are some spiritual and practical tips that I believe couples can use when they ask the question “How to save my marriage during separation?”
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How to save my marriage during separation: Spiritual and practical tips
Communicate whenever possible
Communication is the cord that keeps your relationship strong. I remember during the days when my husband and I were in a long-distance relationship, we always kept our communication lines open. It was important to always message, call, or have video calls whenever we can because it keeps a sense of normalcy and familiarity.
I suggest communicating with each other everyday talking about what happened in your day or your future plans. It also helps to have fun during these calls and messages, like playing some games or watching, reading, or listening to something together. If daily communication isn’t possible with your partner, schedule a time as regularly as you can, such as once or twice a week. During these instances, be as present as possible, not neglecting that precious time to communicate.
You can still save your marriage.
Resolve conflict right away
Many people ask, “How to save my marriage from separation?” perhaps you ended up in a conflicted state, and this is why you and your spouse are separated in the first place. If so, it is so important to resolve conflict right away rather than prolonging the state of “resentment” that you both have.
If you made a mistake, apologize right away. If your spouse has an offense, learn to forgive quickly. If your goal is to learn how to save your marriage during a separation, then make it your goal to set aside any grievances and seek resolution as soon as possible.
The Bible says in Colossians 3:13:
“Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
The Holy Word has commanded us to bear with those we love, forgiving them and loving them as much as God forgives us. Doing this frees us from resentment and allows us to live in freedom and peace.
If you do not resolve conflict right away, here are some things that may happen:
- Both of you will have hidden resentments from each other
- You may end up sharing these heartaches to other people, which can be the root of infidelity
- These issues “pile up” causing a loss of affection and disinterest with your partner
Thus, resolving conflict while your wounds are still fresh allows you to become vulnerable, open, and willing to bear (and love) one another.
Work on your personal issues
Separation is also a time of self-reflection. Sometimes, learning how to save your marriage during separation means also being honest with your faults.
It takes wisdom, humility, and honesty about your faults as a person, and this works on both ends. In order to make things work, you and your spouse must recognize your own weaknesses and personal issues, and strive to work on them separately.
Perhaps you have a spending problem which became a cause of your fights when together. Creating a budgeting strategy is a good start to improve on this area. Does your spouse have anger issues? Then maybe going to a qualified therapist can help in anger management. Marriage is all about riding the waves together and shedding away your personal issues towards growth.
Lift up each other to the Lord
Sometimes, there are problems that cannot be resolved without seeking God. Seeking God in times of deep pain has helped me heal whether it’s something between me and my husband, and all other challenges I encounter. When we lift up our spouses to God, praying for them and asking for a resolution in the midst of the conflict, we can experience peace and clarity.
James 5:16 says:
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”
God works two ways–He can help you by changing the situation, or He can give you a change of heart. Whichever way, as long as you trust Him, God is going to give you His peace. Continue to pray for your spouse, and ask them to pray for you as well. Praying for each other and lifting each other to the Lord is truly a powerful thing.
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I hope this post helps you out when you want to know how to save your marriage during separation. Don’t forget to subscribe below if you want more tips about marriage, family life, lifestyle, and spiritual insights.
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