Lack of Affection In a Relationship: How to Deal

The start of a marriage or relationship can feel exciting. You have this intense desire to be with each other, and you can’t get enough of being affectionate. However, as life happens, you notice that this romance begins to fade. You begin to wonder why is there a lack of affection in a relationship, even though you initially think that the strong feelings would last.

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Lack of affection in a relationship: What are the causes?

Many women feel deeply when they sense that there is a lack of affection from husband. The same emotions are felt by men–when they sense that their partners are emotionally distant, they also feel a lack of affection from wife. This builds up and creates doubts about your commitment, a loss of intimacy, and overall dissatisfaction in your relationship.

The great thing about noticing that there is a lack of affection and intimacy in a relationship is that it’s a sign that can alert you towards a positive change. Is lack of affection reason to break up? This doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is doomed–there is still something you can work on to save your marriage or partnership.

Yes, it is possible to save your marriage.

However, some common causes on the lack of affection are:

• Life’s responsibilities getting in the way
• Misunderstandings and miscommunications
• A new change that requires the couple’s attention (lack of affection after baby, moving, illness, etc.)
• A potential affair (It is best not to jump to conclusions, but rather work on your relationship first)
• Health problems (Both mental and physical)
• Natural ebb and flow in a relationship

In this post, we will discover some ways to deal with this lack of affection from partner and restore your relationship once and for all.

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Lack of affection in a relationship: How to Deal

Being gracious in times of change

There are certain life events that can definitely shake us. These situations can be something that changes your routine and how you establish intimacy as a couple. I can best relate to this when my husband and I had our child. There are some moments that we have to share with our son, and there are times where his needs come first.

Simply being aware of this perspective allows you to be gracious when you feel like there is a lack of affection from husband or lack of affection from wife. Understanding that there are changes that will shift your attention from each other to life’s matters will help you feel secure that once things are much stable and you get the hang of things, you can restore your same affectionate selves for each other.

Communicate your needs

It is easy to assume that our partners are mind readers. Many people complain about lack of affection and intimacy in marriage, but do not take time to actually communicate these needs. Whether it’s pride, a lack of awareness, or the assumption that your partner should ‘already know’, understand that we are all complex human beings with different backgrounds.

Thus, when communicating your needs for affection, you want to be:

• Specific. What is it exactly that you need from your partner? Is it words to encourage, more hugs and kisses, doing some housework, sweet notes?
• Well-timed. Plan together on a time where you can express affection for each other. It could be the time when all the kids are asleep, on a fun weekend together, or early in the morning.
• Non-blaming. When telling about what you need, you don’t have to say “Because you’re (this) and (that)”. Try not to blame your partner and attack their person, but rather focus on what the situation makes you feel. Make it clear it is the situation or action that is making you feel this way, rather than the person.

Set an example

You don’t have to wait for your partner to make a move. If you are feeling a lack of intimacy in a relationship, you can take the first step by setting an example. Be more loving with your words, give way and forgive, and be sweet in times when you can. Life is too short to withhold any love to people close to your heart.

Let your love be known and set an example. I am a person of faith, and I would like to share a verse that completely resonates with this point:

“Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12

By being an example, you are to start the chain reaction of love which will open up the door of affection once again to you and your partner. It is important, though, not to expect anything in return–remember that love isn’t transactional, but rather unconditional. Set an example because it is the way you want to live, not only because you want something in return.

Open up opportunities to be affectionate

If both of you are caught up in routines that keep you from being affectionate, perhaps it is time to open up opportunities for both of you to be intimate and loving to each other.

What really helps between me and my husband is to share novel experiences such as in travel or even discovering a new place in our local area. This helps break the routine, gives us something to look forward to and share moments together to be affectionate.

You can experiment and see what types of opportunities allows you to be more affectionate with each other. Discovering new places or even just changing up your routine can help free up time to spend together and divert your attention towards each other.

I hope these tips help you out! Yes, it is possible to restore your loving ways even if you feel that there is a lack of affection in a relationship.

Also read:

• How To Save Your Marriage During Separation: Effective Tips
• Stressed Being A Mom? 4 Tips To Help You Out
• Keeping Mentally Strong: 4 Ways To Be Mentally Resilient

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