It is no mystery that love can sometimes be a mystery. Even when our partners say something, it could hold a completely different meaning. Sometimes, we would even be left wondering and thinking to ourselves, “What did he mean when he said that?”. It may be all too challenging to decode your partner.
Decode your partner: What makes it difficult
One of the primary reasons why it is so difficult to decode your partner are the differences in the way people think. Aside from gender differences, personality differences can also be a hindrance to proper communication.
How do we go about this? Thankfully, there are 5 simple ways of decoding our partner without having to go over an argument.
If you want to know more about how to save your marriage, watch this video by Dr. Lee Baucom, a relationship expert. In the video he highlights essential steps to save your marriage even if you’re the only one who wants to work it out. Click on his picture, or in this link to find out more.
5 Simple Ways to Decode Your Partner
1. Don’t be confrontational of mere suspicions
If you suspect that your partner may be lying, but don’t have proof of it, then don’t be confrontational about it. Confronting your partner over something that doesn’t have a solid proof just makes you look accusatory and would even repel him or her from trying to communicate with you.
When you ask questions like “Where were you last night?” or “What did you do earlier?”, accept the answer as is, if you don’t have a proof that they are lying. Suspicions are just what they are–suspicions. Mere speculations. Don’t let your anger spill in your marriage or relationship with things that aren’t proven yet.
2. “I’m busy” means they really are, unless done repetitively
When your loved one keeps on saying that they’re busy and refuses to spend time with you, take it as it is. We are all guilty of being busy at one point in our lives. In many instances, it can even get in the way of our relationships.
But here’s the hard, cold truth. No one is really ever consistently busy for something that’s priority. If your partner values you, he or she should look for ways to spend time with you and make sure that you feel treasured as a priority. If they say they’re busy for most of the days in a week, we suggest that you shouldn’t confront negatively, but merely state something you notice. “I noticed that you were busy for most of the days… is there anything I can help you with?” can be a positive approach to this problem.
3. “Let’s just talk later” means you have to be patient
Some people can deal with problems straight on. But other people prefer to let things simmer down before discussing things rationally. You don’t have to be always up in their face to resolve problems. When your partner says “Let’s just talk later”, it means you have to wait for the right time to talk again. Give it a few hours or even a day. Ask questions like “Is now a good time to talk?”. Make sure to start the conversation calmly, and learn to listen.
4. “I don’t wanna deal with this” means your partner is shutting down
It may be tempting to react to this situation by begging, overanalyzing or confronting your partner. But the only way to decode your partner in this situation is to understand that the conflict is making them shut down. To avoid this, apologizing for the hurt you may have caused, and saying one piece before taking time to talk again is important. We highlight the importance of apologizing. Sometimes, people are just caught up in proving that they’re right instead of fighting for what’s right.
We need to hear out each other’s side instead of proving ourselves right in every argument.
5. “I need space” means you have to give your partner some time to think
People would have mixed opinions about “space”. However, we do not dismiss the idea that “space” can be sometimes helpful for couples to reevaluate and ease the tension in their marriage or relationship. You may think it is difficult to decode your partner when they say this. However, this just simply means that they need time to think, or to refresh their hearts and minds about the relationship. This doesn’t mean that they don’t love you anymore. In fact, it’s what some people do to renew their feelings for each other. To handle this well, both of you need to be specific how long this “space” is going to take, and you two should agree on it.
Having non-specific “space” can make you drift apart. It’s also important for both of you to know that this isn’t an avenue to pursue other relationships. Set the length, purpose of this self-seeking tool to help you grow your relationship even more.
If you want to know more about how to save your marriage, watch this video by Dr. Lee Baucom, a relationship expert. In the video he highlights essential steps to save your marriage even if you’re the only one who wants to work it out. Click on his picture, or in this link to find out more.
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Published by lifewithgormleys
Hello, my name is Angeline. I am a speech therapist by profession but I am passionate about a lot of things and I always want to write about them. Nice seeing you here!
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