A lot of couple problems dealing with things such as infidelity, lack of communication, or lack of time. However, there are a few topics that show discussion about what to do when married to an alcoholic. As a spouse, how can you encourage your partner to get over this addiction?

The problem with addiction

An addiction is something that takes over your life. It doesn’t just disrupt someone’s daily activities, it may also affect your loved ones. This is probably the reason why you have come across this post–to understand how you and your loved one can survive your relationship without the alcohol.

An estimated 80,000 number of deaths happen every year due to alcohol. This is a hard pill to swallow, especially if your partner is someone who is dealing with a drinking problem. The problem with addiction is that it starts slow, but it gradually takes over someone’s life.

What to do when married to an alcoholic?

Many would say that there is no way to change your partner if they are not willing, and that is true. The only person you can fully control in your relationship is yourself. When you are married to an alcoholic, it may seem like your efforts to make them change are futile.

However, there are things you can do influence your partner. If they are willing, they can undergo programs such as “How to Give Up Alcohol” in the comfort of their homes.

Additionally, there are other guides that you can do to save your marriage and deal with other problems aside from alcoholism.

This post contains affiliate links.

What to do when married to an alcoholic: 4 ways

1. Seek help when abuse is present

First things first on what to do when married to an alcoholic is to assess your situation. Is there abuse present in your relationship? Do you feel like your life is in harm or you are constantly experiencing physical and verbal abuse?

If this is the case, you need to seek for help right away. You need to remove yourself completely from harm before dealing with anything in the situation. Staying in an abusive relationship can give you trauma, may harm you mentally, and can even cost your life. This is the first and most urgent step.

Here are some of the resources to use when dealing with domestic violence:

• National Domestic Violence Hotlinevisit disclaimer page – 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224 – Secure online chat at http://www.thehotline.org/what-is-live-chat/
• National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN)visit disclaimer page – 1-800-656-4673 Choose #1 to talk to a counselor – Secure online private chat at
https://ohl.rainn.org/online/
• Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network
  The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) is the nation’s largest anti-sexual assault organization.  Among its programs, RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE and the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline at rainn.org . This nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape crisis centers provides victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services, 24 hours per day, 7 days per week.  These hotlines have helped over 1.3 million people since RAINN’s founding in 1994.1-800-656-HOPE

2. Encourage spouse to go to rehab

The next step is to see if the situation calls for urgent attention. You may not be verbally or physically abused, but you see that alcohol has taken control over your partner’s life. The second thing you have to do is to encourage your spouse to go to rehab. This is the next step in understanding what to do when married to an alcoholic.

To encourage someone to go to rehab, you must give them a reality check of their state. You can say things such as “I feel like alcohol has affected many areas of our life, and I feel that it’s very challenging for me to see you like this. This is hurting me, and it’s hurting us.” See that this statement doesn’t come from a place of accusation. It just comes from openly saying what you think and feel about the situation.

Starting the conversation like this would make them less defensive and more open to the idea of going into rehab.

3. Do hobbies with your spouse

If alcohol seems like a mild-moderate problem but it doesn’t fully take over your spouse, it may be best to cope with it in healthy ways.

Recommended book of the week

This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness & Change Your Life

This Naked Mind has ignited a movement across the country, helping thousands of people forever change their relationship with alcohol.

Many people question whether drinking has become too big a part of their lives, and worry that it may even be affecting their health. But, they resist change because they fear losing the pleasure and stress-relief associated with alcohol, and assume giving it up will involve deprivation and misery.

This Naked Mind offers a new, positive solution. Here, Annie Grace clearly presents the psychological and neurological components of alcohol use based on the latest science, and reveals the cultural, social, and industry factors that support alcohol dependence in all of us.  Packed with surprising insight into the reasons we drink, this book will open your eyes to the startling role of alcohol in our culture, and how the stigma of alcoholism and recovery keeps people from getting the help they need. With Annie’s own extraordinary and candid personal story at its heart, this book is a must-read for anyone who drinks. Available in Amazon.

You can start inviting your spouse to activities such as running together, biking, or simply going outdoors. Another helpful coping strategy is adopting a pet, as it is said that it can help addicts cope well and relieve the stress. It isn’t simply just telling your spouse what to do, you have to do it together.

When you encourage your partner to do it together with you, you are sending a message that both of you are a team, and you are willing to stick through the challenges.

4. Have patience when needed

The last thing on what to do when married with an alcoholic is to understand that there will be moments of weakness. You cannot expect your spouse to recover overnight.

In fact, the battle against addiction is an uphill climb. You need to exhibit patience when it is needed, and you have to understand that your partner needs you through the recovery period.

What to do when married to an alcoholic: take action now

I encourage you to look into the “How to Give Up Alcohol” program to help your partner fight the problems of alcohol addiction. When the situation does not warrant an urgency, this may be a helpful first step in helping your loved one get back on track to save your marriage.

Subscribe for more

Did you find this post on “What to when married to an alcoholic” useful? If you did, we would like you to be a part of our newsletter. We won’t be sending spam, we promise! All you will be getting our emails for our latest content about relationships and marriage.

As a free gift, we will also be giving away our e-book that could help you grow your love in whatever relationship you have. Just enter your name and e-mail below.