They say that one of the hardest things to do is learning to unlove someone. The mental and emotional energy you need to exert just to stop yourself from loving them can be dreadful and difficult. However, as much as we don’t want to experience this, sometimes we do. This is perhaps the reason why you’re looking for ways on how to stop loving someone toxic.
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Also read:
[Special] How to stop loving someone toxic: Is your partner a narcissist?
Narcissism is a personality disorder that may be the cause of someone being toxic. In this special post, get the help you need to disarm the narcissist in your life and get your sanity back.
One of the things that lead us to decide on unloving someone is because they are being toxic. This means that they do things that are not unhealthy for you or the relationship.
At first, it can be bearable but as years will pass, you start to see that the person’s character, values, and habits hinder you and the relationship from growing. And when you realize that to prevent you and your loved one from destroying one another is to stop the relationship, you don’t know how to start it. You pray and ask God for help on what to do with the situation and you can’t seem to know what your first steps would be.
Is this situation familiar to you? Are you tired of putting up with the toxicity and would want to start fresh? Do you or you know someone that needs to know how to stop loving someone toxic? It can be difficult but there are ways that can help you stop loving a toxic person.
How To Stop Loving Someone Toxic: Ways To Do It
Identify toxic behaviors by your loved one
First thing you need to do is identify and look for behaviors that confirm your loved one is toxic.
There are sure signs that a person can be toxic. One is that they are emotionally draining. Whether it be a conflict or a simple encounter with them, they leave you exhausted emotionally. Another is they use intimidation or manipulation to make you give them what they want. Even if you don’t want to do it, they force you indirectly to do it.
A toxic person also has the tendency to be jealous easily and are self-absorbed. They want everything to go according to how they want it to be and if they don’t get it, they result in guilt-tripping and would blame others for it. These things are just some of the behaviors of a toxic person. So, if you see these in your loved one, there is a big chance that they are indeed, toxic.
See how these toxic behaviors affect your life
Once you identify these behaviors, you must see how these will affect your life. You have to ask your self intentionally questions that would help you decide whether or not you can handle these behaviors.
“Can I deal with his behavior after 5 years? Does this affect me negatively or would it challenge me to grow? Am I willing to bear these kinds of behaviors?”
Aside from asking yourself, you can also ask other people whom you can trust to be accountable to you. Talk to them and know from their perspective if these behaviors will affect your life. You can also search for blogs and tips on the internet for additional information.
And most of all, do not forget to inquire to God as well. Pray, seek, and ask God diligently to help you see what you need to see and hear from Him what you need to hear. Partner with God in this.
Commit to a decision to let go
After seeking and knowing how these toxic behaviors affect your life, commit to a decision to let go.
Even though it would not be easy, you must commit to let go of the person and start looking for a life that would help you grow. Know that the behaviors of a toxic person will affect you negatively and to help yourself from being engulfed with negativity and self-doubts, you have to cut the source – that is the to the cut the person from your life.
[Special] How to stop loving someone toxic? Deciding to move on?
You may have committed to move on, but you’re not exactly sure how. In this book, called When The Past Won’t Let You Go: Find the Healing That Helps You Move On, you can read up strategies to finally let go of the toxic person in your life or a painful past. Find in Amazon.
During this time, commit to let go by surrendering it to God. It would not be easy, and you will not be able to do it on your own. However, God promised in Philippians 4:13 that we can DO ALL thing THROUGH Christ who will strengthen us. Pray that you will be able to let go and focus on what God wants you to do, not on the emotions that you are feeling.
I know it would be difficult, but for you to know how to stop loving someone toxic, letting go of them is the right thing to do.
Find your identity in God
Lastly, rebuild yourself by finding your identity in God. Being with a toxic person can make you believe that you are not worthy, and you are not enough. That is why once you let go of the person, remind yourself of your identity in Christ.
God looks at you and sees that you are enough. He sees your worth and because of this, He even sacrificed Himself on the cross because you are valuable in His eyes.
Build a relationship with God by spending time reading His Word and praying to Him. There is no other way for you to be complete. God is the only one who can complete you. Let Him tell you who you are in His eyes – someone who is enough, complete, and worth it.
I hope these ways can help you know how to stop loving someone toxic. Again, it’s not going to be easy but know that you are not alone in this. God is with you, every step of the way.
Don’t forget to check these resources:
- Narcissist Help: Disarm the narcissist
- When The Past Won’t Let You Go: Find The Healing that Helps You Move On
Written by: Hannah Aloyon
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