Breakups are a painful experience. They can cause depression, stress, and anxiety with the sudden changes of losing a relationship. However, one facet that is often overlooked is the problem of losing identity after breakup.
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Before we get started…
[Special] Losing identity after breakup: Getting back together?
Although breakups sometimes happen for the best, this is not always the case. Sometimes, it could be a mistake that should have been avoided.
Perhaps there are other reasons why you might want to get back with your ex. In this video, called Ex-Factor Guide, it shows you a step-by-step process on how bring back the love you lost. Click here to know more.
Losing identity after breakup can make you feel empty and lonely. After so many years of being someone’s other half, perhaps you feel a void that cannot seem to be filled. Below are some ways where you can redeem yourself after a painful breakup.
Losing identity after breakup: How to Deal
Remind yourself of who you are prior to the relationship
Remember that you were alive, well, and survived prior to your relationship. You ex is not someone that you cannot live without since the day you were born. By simply being aware of this, you can feel empowered that you can make it without your ex, and you have an identity apart from them.
Before getting married, I can recall my past relationship experience. I remember feeling like losing identity after breakup because I have been in that relationship for two years. Although I knew that it was the right thing to break up, I felt lost because it’s the life I knew for those two years.
When I realized who I was prior to the relationship, it’s like I have been set free. I am a person with many passions and interests, and so I had to start from there and realize that I have a separate identity from my previous relationship.
Dedicate time for self-care
Perhaps during the grieving process, you found yourself depressed and unable to care for yourself. You may have eaten unhealthily, taken showers sparingly, or have not done anything productive.
You see, this is a vicious cycle—the more you neglect yourself, the more you are losing identity after breakup. Thus, it is important to find the time to care for yourself.
It doesn’t have to be a big task. Even simply soaking yourself for a warm bath, going outside in nature and listening to music, these are self-care things you can do. Whatever makes you feel good and pampered, take time to do those things.
In this book, called Seasonal Self Care, you can find encouragement and spiritual restoration in a span of 12 weeks. It is like having a retreat but you can enjoy it in your own time and place through a book. You can find it in Amazon.
After a bad breakup, I started to care for myself by eating right and losing weight. I also refueled my passion for hobbies such as writing, playing the guitar, or making money online. Then, I started to feel like myself again.
Reignite your zest for life
When you come to think about it, relationships are just one aspect of life. We are so much more than who we are with. There’s many ways to live your life, and at this season, remember that there are so many things you can do as a single person.
When I was single, I realized I had so much time in my hands. And so I thought about how I can feel alive again—I traveled more with friends, spent time with my family, and pursued all the hobbies I want. That was also the time I started blogging with my own domain as well. Through the breakup, I rediscovered and discovered new things about myself.
Life is so much more than relationships. Find your zest in life and see that there are a lot of things you can do with the freedom you have in this season.
Find identity in God
The anchor that kept me stable and empowered me to do all of the things I mentioned above is realizing that my identity is found in God. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 5:17:
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
Remember that God is unchanging—He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. His love doesn’t come strong and waver the next day. He is constant. This means that you can find security in Him even if bad things happen in your life. You can be assured that He will walk you through it.
If you want to experience peace, I encourage you to find your identity in God. He is a loving Father, and He will be with you for all the days of your life. You don’t have to feel like you’re losing identity after breakup.
I hope these things can help you deal with the loss of a relationship. Along with time and much perseverance, you can find your identity once again.
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