Hello friends! It’s been a while since I posted on my blog. The last quarter of 2022 was hectic for me. Our family came back from Alaska, and we underwent some personal difficulties (loss, adjustments) that I had to balance with my other responsibilities. But, this post is quite timely for the new year and something that I also resonate with. This post is for everyone asking “how to find myself again?”.
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How to find myself again: My personal experience
There are some moments in my life when I felt like I was going through a crisis. The first instance was when I was around 23, and hitting that quarter-life crisis. I asked myself what I really wanted to do, and I sort of got out of that rut when I had some financial, personal, and spiritual goals in place. Now that I live a more settled life, I feel now that similar emotions have struck me. I was deep in my routines, giving, pouring out to my family that I lost myself in the process. This holiday break, I had some time to self-reflect and ask, “how to find myself again”. I want to bring passion and joy back in my life, and hopefully through this process I can connect more with myself.
In this post, I will be sharing some of the things I plan this upcoming year if you’re also someone who wants to know how to find yourself again.
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How to find yourself again: Things to do
Understand what parts of your life are unfulfilling
I think the first step to this process is trying to understand what parts of your life where you feel like you’re not at your best. A thing that deeply discourages me is when my baby is crying. I know babies are supposed to cry and that’s how they communicate, but every time he cries, I feel like I am not doing my best to make him happy and content.
I had to intentionally get out of this thought process (and I still am working on it) to help me see the situation for what it is, or to understand that this is just a phase. Evaluate your life and find parts of it where you feel unfulfilled, and see if it’s something that you can either control with your actions, or your frame of mind.
Purposefully add things in your life that bring you joy
We are a tech-saturated society and often we succumb to the use of gadgets to bring us pleasure. Whether it’s through watching short videos, or looking at notifications, we often spend our time feeding our brain’s reward system with this, often snatching the time away for us to bring purposeful joy in our lives.
If you’re asking, “how to find yourself again after trauma”, one of the things you can do is really think about things that bring you joy. Perhaps it’s art, music, nature, or any other hobby where you can be immersed. What things made you happy as a child? Or even when you were younger? Add back these things in your life and intentionally spend time on it.
Connect with God
I think one of the most important things when you’re asking “how to find myself again” is connecting back with God. My life as a military spouse has affected my ability (and desire) to connect with a church or a longstanding spiritual community. I often am discouraged to get started on a church with where we’re at, because I know we’re going to move again. I would often go to church in the chapel of the base where we’re stationed, but I don’t feel my roots run deep with the lifestyle that I have.
This is why I have intentionally sought a group online (of fellow military wives) who understand the challenges I go through, and this is one way I have connected with God through fellowship. Aside from one-on-one time with God, you can begin to feel encouraged and find yourself again if you surround yourself with a supportive group of people.
Find time to self-reflect
I believe that self-reflection is vital to people’s well-being. Knowing why you think and feel the way you do gives you clarity on your next steps. If something isn’t sitting well in your situation, take time to ask, “Why do I feel or think this way?” so you would know what to do.
I had time to think, and I realized that I wasn’t giving more to myself. I was doing a lot of things (work, caring for the family, business, fulfilling my responsibilities at home, and planning family events) but they were all mostly for the sake of others. I rarely did things out of just my pure enjoyment with no other “bigger cause” or motives. This month and the upcoming year, I hope to seek those things, to fill my own cup, in light of God’s guidance and wisdom.
I hope this post helps you out with your journey if you’re asking “how to find myself again”.
Also read:
How to Keep Relationship Strong When Busy
What to Do When You Don’t Feel Supported: Things That Help
Buying a House for the First Time: Tips that Help
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