This post is created in collaboration with Tynisha of A Mixed Mama.
Fighting with your spouse or partner can be one of the biggest struggles in a relationship. Egos, pride, resentments, they all build up and get in the way of compromising sometimes. Perhaps you’re in a unique situation, looking for ways on how to keep strong after having a baby, or maybe finding tips on how to keep relationship strong during quarantine.
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Everyone wants to be right and sometimes wanting to be right gets in the way of how we love our partner. How we still keep building a solid foundation even when it feels as though it is shaking.
I am no expert but I am a woman in a long term committed relationship and we have had plenty of fights but there are things you can do like we did to keep our foundation strong through it all.
How To Keep Relationship Strong
Give each other space, hear each other out
My first piece of advice would be to give each other space, then hear each other out. Fights can happen for so many reasons, some bigger than others but no matter what it is instead of taking it out in your partner right then and there give each other space.
Maybe you’ll yell for a bit or maybe bicker back and forth but don’t let it escalate to anything more. Instead go find a place you can go to alone and clear your head. Sometimes it can be hard as moms to find an escape but even if that place is your bathroom or closet, go there alone and think.
Think about the situation and how you will approach your spouse.
Avoid hostility
My next tip slides in at second because it goes right with the first, approach your spouse in a way without anger or hostility. Even if someone the worse situations and arguments, such as one where cheating has occurred, it can be hard to not come at your spouse with hostility.
It can be hard to just sit next to them let alone have a civilized conversation. But I promise if you take some moments to yourself you will be able to sit next to them with a clear mind and heart and confront the situation.
No matter what they did you can’t approach each other with anger and resentment or pride or ego because you will not solve anything.
I always hear that it is you two against the problem not the two of you against each other. I would keep that in mind always.
Listen, listen, listen
Another piece of advice I have is to listen to your partner. When your fighting it’s easy to just ignore what their saying and just wait for your turn to rebuttal but you need to truly listen and hear what they are saying.
This is definitely one of my down falls since I constantly want to get what I want to say out first but I have been working on it.
Watch what you say. I know during arguments it can get easy to say the first thing that comes to mind and usually that’s the most hurtful. Just think before you speak.
Sometimes our words carry more weight than we realize, we don’t want to say something that could potentially trigger something to make the argument even worse. I know more times than not I have thought of saying something (or I have actually said something) that made my boyfriend feel like I thought less of him after the argument was over.
This is not what you want. I can’t stress enough to make sure everything your saying is coming from a place of good intentions and not from malice.
Don’t let fighting take over
My last piece of advice would be to not let the fighting take over your life. If you are fighting with your partner for 2-3 weeks there’s a problem. You should seek more help than this and seek professional counseling.
You shouldn’t feel easily resented towards your partner. If you can be angry and argue with him and not feel any type of remorse or sadness and you live a few weeks or a month acting as if you two are okay without each other than maybe that’s what you should do. Be without each other.
But if you wanna have a healthy future you need to resolve conflicts in a healthy way that dosent lead towards such resentment.
No one is perfect and every relationship has its flaws as every person has to room for growth. Choose love over all else and fight for the relationships you want not with the person you want a relationship with.
Till next time, T.
Author Bio:
I am a young mother of two who has a passion to inform and entertain mothers. My blog is all about building yourself up all while dominating mom life. I hope to inspire and help other young moms like myself. You can find me at
Https://amixedmama.com
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“You two against the problem not the two of you against each other.” ❤️ soo truee! Thanks for this 🙂