How to Make Your Marriage Stronger and Better: Ways to Improve

Marriage is a commitment of a lifetime, and anyone who has experienced this journey would rarely say it was a “walk in the park”. Aside from being with a person who may have different quirks from you, living in the same roof, you will both experience challenging things during the course of time after saying your “I do’s”. Perhaps you have come across this post during a hard season in your relationship, wondering how to make your marriage stronger and better.

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Things to Make Your Marriage Stronger: My Personal Experience

I personally think that one of the best mindsets to have on how to make your marriage stronger and better is to go beyond thinking about the “What if’s”. When you commit, you don’t think about the “greener grass” or “what else is out there for you”. Except for the cases of abuse or ongoing infidelity, as I have said, marriage is a commitment.

Learn how to save your marriage here.

When you commit to something, it is expected that you can have rocky times during the whole experience but this doesn’t mean you will give up. I could best compare the idea of commitment going through the process of entering and graduating in the University of the Philippines (UP), one of the top colleges in my native country. Even after taking my Master’s here in the US, I could say that my character, commitment, and love for learning has been uniquely shaped forever by entering UP.

There were so many nights where I slept in buses, typed in my laptop in crowded trains, bought 4 types of energy drinks because coffee just wouldn’t do it, walked on shady streets just to find my tutor for a subject I am about to fail, crying after poor clinical director feedback and difficult patients, or sleeping 1-2 hours a night while balancing exams, patient care, writing reports and collaborating with my co-interns.

This hard road in graduating from UP taught me something about commitment especially during the challenging moments, you simply don’t give up because there’s a ripe fruit at the end. I now see marriage as the same thing–when I commit to my husband even in the trying times, I know that there is a reward at the end. I am blessed to have a wonderful and responsible husband, but one cannot deny that this is just a part of the whole picture of having a strong marriage.

And so, even in my almost-5 years of commitment, I would like to give you a little insight on the things I believe would help make your marriage better everyday.

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How to Make Your Marriage Stronger and Better: My Insights

Have a dedicated time together, daily

I now fully understand how busy life can be when you are married and have kids in the picture. Life just instantly changes and your time being alone together becomes much less. However, these instances of losing time could build up towards neglect, making you feel like strangers especially if you don’t have a point of contact within the day.

So I believe that one of the ways on how to make your marriage stronger and better is to agree on a dedicated time together to bond, even just for a few minutes a day. My husband and I recently started the habit of intentionally praying for each other, for our family, together everyday. We made it a part of our schedule so we have a point of contact that goes beyond the routine of fulfilling our responsibilities.

What is it that makes your marriage intimate, even if it’s just a short amount of time? Is it praying together, hugging, talking about your day, doing recreational things together? Whatever it is, set it on your schedule and dedicate yourselves in having that point of contact daily.

Understand, and be understood

One of the recent things I learned is from reading the book called “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey. In the book, he taught about the importance of empathic listening and how it lowers people’s defenses and makes them open for intimacy and openness.

Often, when our spouses come to us for problems, we are automatically at a reactive stance. When they are angry, disappointed, or facing a difficult situation, our tendency is to solve the problem right away in our own perspective. We tell them how wrong they are, how things should be, etc.

I think one of the daily ways to improve marriage is by empathic listening. The next time you are tempted to react right away, you can stop yourself and really try to understand what your spouse might be feeling and why he/she has made such choices or actions. By listening first, you open doors for suggestions and working cooperatively for solutions instead of forcing your thoughts right away.

This type of communication places your relationship in a higher ground, allowing for interdependence and improving things in your marriage.

Have goals related to your relationship

It is common to have goals related to your work, business, and any other personal pursuit, but what about marriage? Often we can become complacent and think that our partners are just doing “fine” because at the surface they seem to be.

However, I think it would be great to also consider having some goals related to improving your relationship as a couple. Taking a proactive stance rather than a passive one I believe are one of the ways on how to make your marriage stronger and better.

Goals for example, like having a once a month date night, a yearly trip as a couple, or finally seeing together if you’ve been in a long-distance commitment allows you to invest in each other’s Emotional Bank Accounts. Thinking about ways to be intentionally love through your spouses’ love language and placing them as goals I believe can help make your marriage stronger.

Living with integrity

This one may be something related to your personal character, but I believe that it is one of the things that can make a marriage truly strong. Being a person of integrity means being true to who you are in public and private moments.

When people live double lives, such as eliciting respect from others on the outside but being a completely different person in the home, trust and respect are lost in marriage. Same things can be said when we say one thing and do something completely different. I find building my integrity in my life and marriage by immersing myself in the Word of God.

I am by no means perfect, but one of the ways that I am being constantly pruned is through learning and living through Biblical truths. I am always humbled by how I am loved by a great God, who wants to develop Christlikeness in me. I would want to extend my obedience and gratitude through how I commit to my marriage as well.

I hope these insights helped you out. Committing can be challenging, but if you seek ways to make your marriage better everyday, you can reap its fruits over time.

Also read:

• Signs of A Relationship that Will Last: What to Look Out For
• How Does Pregnancy Affect Marriage? Things to Know
• How Can I Forgive and Forget the Past? Strategies that Help

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